GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A four-year-old golden retriever named Sadie is far and away the most productive member of local punk house, exasperated neighbors confirmed.…
INDIANAPOLIS — Recent college graduate Mark Robinson had a job interview yesterday he thought “went pretty well,” despite his inability to determine whether or not…
Americans spend $10.7 trillion dollars every year, and most of that is spent on sex probably. One visionary is looking to change that. There’s a…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Seminal crust punk band Leftöver Crack canceled their upcoming Midwestern tour today when drummer Donny Morris missed the freight train door…
My acquaintances’ girlfriends are all such sweet girls. I always give them the respect a lady deserves by being polite, including them in the conversation,…
DETROIT — Avid cannabis consumer Jake Sweeney exploded in rage today after finding a seed in his marijuana for the first time in over three…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
LOS ANGELES — The artificial intelligence algorithm behind LANDR’s audio mastering service yesterday remastered all songs it received into Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” according to mildly peeved…
When The Hard Times scored an interview with Jack White we were thrilled. However, what he said was so excruciatingly, unrelentingly pretentious I decided ‘fuck…
Art is self expression. Art is thought-provoking. Art shines a mirror onto society so that it can see the ugliness within itself. My art expresses…
AKRON, Ohio — New local venue The Roach Trap has set the DIY punk scene ablaze with its endless amenities, including a kitchen, bedrooms, and…