LEAWOOD, Kan. — The value of hot, buttered movie popcorn dropped below $4,000 per barrel for the first time in decades this week following the…
It was a rough news week for people who wanted to tweet something topical but had no idea what the fuck the stock market actually…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Yesterday’s funeral program for recently deceased Nathan Rivard was the most fun his friends have had since the beginning of the COVID-19…
Nice Fugazi shirt. Where’d you get it, Target? Heh. Probably. Okay then, name three songs. Please? I’m trying to get into them. Oh, and “Waiting…
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth for the first time in…
Hey, thanks for coming over. Are you enjoying the music? You can put on whatever you want, you know? Can I fix you another piña…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Every member of Rochester’s remaining DIY scene is homeless today following their eviction from the 600 square foot studio apartment they shared,…
You bring the stuff? Sweet. These are authentic JNCO jeans, right? The ones from the late ’90s?I don’t want none of this watered-down, kinda-baggy-leg bullshit.…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Seminal punk band Green Day are reportedly heading back into the studio this week to record a new, “blistering” single venting their…
BOSTON — Former drinker Mackenzie Stodd has fully shifted her addictive tendencies by committing all her free time and energy into the much more expensive…
Pete and Pete. The Coreys. Ed Edd n Eddy. Popular culture is rich with stories of people with the same or very similar name finding…
SALINE, Mich. — Supposed “lame-ass” history teacher Trevor Rubio failed student Rachel Traynor yesterday for insisting that Neutral Milk Hotel lyrics were a credible source…