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So You’re a Fugazi Fan? Name Three Songs You Recommend Because I’m Trying to Get Into Them

Nice Fugazi shirt. Where’d you get it, Target? Heh. Probably. Okay then, name three songs. Please? I’m trying to get into them. Oh, and “Waiting Room” doesn’t count. I heard it already and the bassline bugs me.

I was by the bar with my friend and we saw you walk in wearing it and I was hoping to find out if you were a real fan. Earlier I turned to my buddy and said, “That’s a nice ‘Steady Diet of Nothing’ shirt. That’s a deep cut. I guarantee she’s a real fan and not some poser like me. I bet she can even name three songs by them.”

Don’t you hate posers? I would consider myself a poser when it comes to Fugazi and it just makes me sick to see posers like me walking around in this “Repeater” shirt I got on Amazon. I bet you hate that too, don’t you? Or are you not a real fan?

Thank God you came in here. Earlier, I was talking to the bartender and thought he was gonna help me out. That was until he asked what my favorite song was and I had to say all of ’em so he couldn’t call me out. He asked what I thought about the live series and if I knew they were friends with Cobain. I had to hide in the bathroom and read their Wikipedia page but I think I recovered when I told him they were “noted for their style-transcending music, DIY ethical stance, manner of business practice, and contempt for the music industry.”

Anyway, can you please name three songs by Fugazi that I can name drop? I need to show that bartender I’m not some basic ass poser so I can order an IPA.