Everyone knows I’m rebellious. I wear it on my sleeve. More specifically, on my knuckles. When my buddies and I got drunk at Steve’s and…
COLUMBUS — Local 7th grader Theo Hansen was shocked to learn that he had been added to the national terrorist watchlist for scribbling a poorly-drawn…
CHICAGO — A small group of household objects joined together last night to escape an impending and prolonged fucking by the “insatiable lady of the…
In the wake of George Floyd’s murder at the hands of police officers, anti-cop sentiment has exploded across the cultural landscape. Protests calling for police…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Carson Boucher could not record his wife giving birth to their first son last night due to his habit of…
WASHINGTON — In an effort to bring jobs back home to the U.S., President Trump ordered soldiers enlisted in the military to kill American citizens…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any seasoning heavier than salt, he…
LOS ANGELES — Startling new models released today predict a massive spike in potential lovers subjecting their first dates to unsolicited details of their screenplays…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Actor, director and newly radicalized “Some Good News” creator John Krasinski revisited his YouTube feel-good series yesterday to share a video of…
I’m a complete newbie when it comes to home improvement so when I decided to re-brick my garden, I took to the interwebs to find…
LOS ANGELES — Police officers continued to wreak havoc on the city of Los Angeles this week, looting over 50% of the city budget, and…
WASHINGTON — President Trump ironically announced earlier this week that he would be a “law and order” president, despite a lengthy history of criminality, sources…
NEW YORK — Popular disco group the Village People announced they had severed ties with Victor Willis, better known as the Cop from the Village…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Joseph Calbroni resorted to imagining all of the protestors he is beating the shit out of are his wife in…
Breaking news in anarcho-grammar, specifically the all too common saying, “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo cops are all bastards.” Top Antifa grammarians recently…