WASHINGTON — Republican Party sources claimed today that they are in possession of a potentially damning episode of “Room Raiders” featuring Democratic Presidential candidate Joe…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local hopeful woman Alex Ginelli spent her free time yesterday attempting to better herself by reading descriptions of $2 self-help books on…
NEW YORK — Violent criminals and feral animals from across the country gathered in New York yesterday to protest America’s unfair comparison of their ilk…
WASHINGTON — Democrats have proposed historic legislation that would end the traditional “goodnight kiss” they previously gave all cops right after tucking them into bed…
MIAMI — Ofc. Mark Stewart of the Miami Police Department has reportedly changed his opinion on being filmed while on the job, despite once proudly…
Friend Celebrating Birthday at Home in Quarantine Still Manages to Start Drunken Fight and Lose Shoe
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a drunken fight and lose her…
During the past couple of weeks, the national conversation has included discussion of proper ways of displaying confederate statues. There have been multiple cases of…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local protester John Reid reportedly missed a number of anti-police protests over the last few weeks, thanks to spending too much time…
DALLAS — Patients at Dallas General Hospital learned yesterday that Dr. Graham Alder, one of the facility’s most trusted surgeons, is actually a “total pussy”…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — 26-year-old pop-punk frontman Derrick Ford hit his breaking point last week while tutoring his 17-year-old girlfriend Madison Parker during online summer school…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local concerned citizen Rob Cinyek is providing a detailed play-by-play account of last night’s protests against racial injustice, as witnessed in real…
Everyone knows I’m rebellious. I wear it on my sleeve. More specifically, on my knuckles. When my buddies and I got drunk at Steve’s and…
COLUMBUS — Local 7th grader Theo Hansen was shocked to learn that he had been added to the national terrorist watchlist for scribbling a poorly-drawn…
CHICAGO — A small group of household objects joined together last night to escape an impending and prolonged fucking by the “insatiable lady of the…
In the wake of George Floyd’s murder at the hands of police officers, anti-cop sentiment has exploded across the cultural landscape. Protests calling for police…