BOSTON — 41-year-old Tommy Dawson’s once-beloved Jane Doe tattoo finished it’s transformation last week after years of fading, evolving into its final stage as the…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence is looking forward to debating Kamala Harris’ husband, Douglas Emhoff, on key issues impacting American heads-of-household and their wives…
AUSTIN, Texas — Lester Bowen, a supposed diehard fan of eccentric singer-songwriter Daniel Johnson, admitted today that he only got into the late musician because…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute shower somehow left DelFino grosser…
So, you’ve been scooped up off the street by Trump’s secret police and whisked away to an undisclosed location for interrogation and torture. You don’t…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — The last-minute addition of a “lol” in a text last night from 32-year-old Tom Jannuzi salvaged an otherwise genuine attempt at vulnerability…
AMITYVILLE, N.Y. — Local music fan Kyle Hartley was ridiculed at an outdoor Words Are Wind show yesterday for wearing the band’s COVID-19 mask he…
ARDMORE, Pa. — Small-town guitarist Aaron Haze removed yet another tab from his PBR tallboy moments ago while skirting around the topic of how much…
FAIRFIELD, N.J. — Local police were accused today of intentionally leaving a pallet of boxes labeled “ACME” in the street to instigate a cartoonishly silly…
CHESAPEAKE, Va. — A local dog was left anxiety-ridden and unable to finish his pile of vomit yesterday after being abandoned at home by his…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A new, punk-themed bed & breakfast that offers the “luxury of living like a real life punk” requires that renters bring their…
CAMDEN, N.J. — A green Bic lighter still hasn’t given up hope that it will one day no longer be absentmindedly pocketed by stoners and…
EAST NORTHPORT, N.Y. — Local teen Roderick Evans attempted last night to do the trick where you stab a knife between your outstretched fingers, disappointing…