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Protestors Alarmed By Pallet Of ACME Boxes Left In Street

FAIRFIELD, N.J. — Local police were accused today of intentionally leaving a pallet of boxes labeled “ACME” in the street to instigate a cartoonishly silly and extremely dangerous riot, animated and human sources alike confirmed.

“Whilst exhibiting our displeasure with police brutality, my cohorts and I noticed what appeared to be a conniving trap set by the local constabulary,” reported Marvin the Martian, who traveled more than 71 million miles to attend the protests. “Upon further examination, I concluded that it was a detonator device, similar to the illudium PU-36 explosive space modulator. Luckily, the ruse was unsuccessful. Isn’t that lovely?”

Protestors accused police of intentionally leaving ACME-brand anvils, catapults, and jet-propelled roller skates to incite violence.

“It’s apawwing,” lamented Tweety Bird as he hoisted a sign that read, “Awwest Kiwwer Cops.” “‘Dese pwicks weave twaps for pwotestors and shoot us with wubber buwwets. A cop tried to fiwe at me, but I stuck my finger in the gun bawwel so it expwoded in his stupid pig face. But poor Daffy’s beak got knocked to the back of his head by a tear gas canister. It’s time to abowish and defund the powice! Fuck 12 — aw cops aw bastawds.”

Heightening tensions, a small crowd of counter-protestors gathered nearby to voice their support for law enforcement.

“B’dee, b’dee, b’dee, b’dee-fund the police? N-n-no way, Jose,” declared Porky Pig, handing out “Not All Pigs” pamphlets. “A’wee, a’wee, a’why, you might as well declare a’ha, a’ha, a’ha-narchy! Someone’s gotta puh, a’puh, a’put a stop to these a’rah, a’rah, a’rah, a’riots!”

Fellow counter-protestor Foghorn Leghorn agreed, dismayed by protestors allegedly destroying confederate monuments. “How else will people learn about the War of Northern Aggression and our great Southern history?” Leghorn said. “I say, I say, these fellas trying to erase history are about as sharp as a bowling ball.”

Fairfield Police have issued a statement denying the accusations and specifically assured the public that in no way was Lt. Wile E. Coyote involved.