CHICAGO — Guitarist and exhausted activist Tom Morello faxed in his protest of the Democratic National Convention report disappointed political activists and Rage Against the…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A pro-Palestine march has reportedly changed courses today after it turned back around to begin a new protest condemning the latest IDF…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Blake Crawford was reportedly heartbroken while attending his 20-year high school reunion after coming to the realization that the once…
Can you believe it’s actually been that long? Lady Gaga just revealed that the iconic Meat Dress that she wore to the 2010 MTV Music…
Which of these is the bigger crime: Literally just walking into a building, or murdering babies to drink their blood in a satanic ritual that…
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after refusing to let him put…
The world is changing too rapidly. Between advances in culture and technology, some of us can’t keep up and many people are simply refusing to…
SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation counts as a form of…
Never let the government tell you what you can and cannot do. That’s what punk rock is for. In fact, I learned everything I know…
BRANAU AM INN, Austria — Conservative podcaster and chrononaut Arlo Sanderson travelled back in time to protest the assassination of an unborn Adolf Hitler, insisting…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Torn Down frontman Benny Lawrence attempted to write lyrics tackling some of society’s most pressing issues, but instead settled on brotherhood and…
FREEHOLD, N.J. — Local mall security guard Corey Knightly was in shock after a known ‘Blue Lives Matter’ proponent tore into him for 20 minutes…
Listen up, buttercup. In this house, we always back the blue. We support the boys in blue and we know blue lives matter. This is…
CHICAGO — The embattled President of Fraternal Order of Police Lodge 7, John Cattanzara, sought to negotiate for police officers to receive 45 more murders…
WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following backlash from supporters frustrated by…