WASHINGTON — President Trump kicked off his birthday parade today with a 21-gun salute fired into a crowd of ‘No Kings’ protestors, sources confirmed. “The…
I’ve done the work. The hard, gritty, photogenically lit work. There are black-and-white photos of me crouching beside rubble in Haiti, sweat on my brow,…
WASHINGTON — Popular YouTube children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel sparked backlash from pro-life right-wing commentators for her brave stance against ongoing infanticide in Gaza, confirmed sources.…
BOSTON — Local liberal Brian Mullins, who is boycotting any company that he sees as supporting a fascist regime, spends all of his free time…
Like any aspiring anarchist, I want to do what I can to burn this entire rotten system to the ground and bring in a new…
It seems like everybody these days has a cause that they truly believe in. Whether it’s fighting for a person’s right to bodily autonomy or…
WASHINGTON — Democratic leadership announced their plans to play the 2013 Katy Perry song “Roar” very loud in response to the aggressive start of President…
CHICAGO — Guitarist and exhausted activist Tom Morello faxed in his protest of the Democratic National Convention report disappointed political activists and Rage Against the…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A pro-Palestine march has reportedly changed courses today after it turned back around to begin a new protest condemning the latest IDF…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local man Blake Crawford was reportedly heartbroken while attending his 20-year high school reunion after coming to the realization that the once…
Can you believe it’s actually been that long? Lady Gaga just revealed that the iconic Meat Dress that she wore to the 2010 MTV Music…
Which of these is the bigger crime: Literally just walking into a building, or murdering babies to drink their blood in a satanic ritual that…
NEW YORK — New safe injection site, Harm Reduction and Education Center, was deemed “fascist” by Marcus “Scuzz” Benitez after refusing to let him put…
The world is changing too rapidly. Between advances in culture and technology, some of us can’t keep up and many people are simply refusing to…
SAN DIEGO — Local socially conscious man Aaron Mayfield is pretty sure that all his self loathing, flagellation, and deprecation counts as a form of…