DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
CLEVELAND — A group of disgruntled, shoeless punks met each other’s empty gazes in a foyer as they attempted to find their own black leather…
LOS ANGELES — Director of the upcoming action thriller “Day Of The Eagle” Thad Phillips was able to use the classic The Runaways hit “Cherry…
ST. LOUIS — Local man Connor Goodman checked the stock market today and was too confused by what he read to feel any sense of…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Recent college graduate Matt DeLuca lost an argument early yesterday afternoon after his uncle, Gino DeLuca, simply repeated a fact back to…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — 45-year-old salon owner Jessica Hunter slashed her laptop with barber shears in response to an “adult contemporary” playlist recommendation given to her…
LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21” was awarded the Emmy for…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local activist and aging vegan Victor Gonzalez expressed his disappointment that the new generation of vegans have no interest in brutal videos…
WASHINGTON — Michael Schofield, a leading organizer of the Woodstock ‘99 music festival, is consulting with the organizers of today’s “Justice for J6” rally outside…
COLUMBIA, Mo. — University of Missouri Freshman and aspiring professional architect Henry Right made the innovative choice while re-doing his dorm room to install a…