Oh, dear. Well, Billy, you’re in a bit of a precarious situation here. Damn, this jump looked way narrower from down there. Ah, shit! Are…
SEATTLE — Local man Evan Sobitski is terrified at the moment that he’s about to get in an actual, physical fight after challenging a stranger…
We here at The Hard Times have always been fascinated with the thought experiment that if you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite…
HOUSTON — Self-proclaimed “bad boy of outer space” Willis McReady cost the National Aeronautics and Space Administration approximately $3.4 million last week, cutting the sleeves…
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
Most called us crazy when we initially came up with a plan to build an entire city based around an early 2000’s alternative metal genre.…
ERIE, Penn. — Local punk Jackson McCreedy is thought to be “rolling in dough” today, as his old Asian Man Records poster is now encased…
HIAWASSEE, Ga. — Local mom Camille Belvin shared a charming anecdote during a family dinner last night about an event from which her daughter has…
Recently, we here at The Hard Times have been going through some pretty… well, hard times. Fortunately, the bartender at our favorite speakeasy, The Crusty…
Despite our reputation for edginess and youthful rebellion, we here at The Hard Times admit that sometimes when there’s a problem to deal with there…
NORTH POLE — Members of the organization Stop Treating Animals Badly [STAB] rescued eight reindeer yesterday that were allegedly being exploited by a reclusive hoarder…
GREAT BARRINGTON, Mass. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan stood up to speak last night at an assembly about the current state of the education…
The current state of the economy is bleak and many are asking the reason why. Well, it turns out that our recession was caused by…
PUTNAM, Conn. — Residents of local punk house The Jailblock realized yesterday that no member of the household could remember how or when they came…
INDIANAPOLIS — Bomb squad technicians responded this morning to a call about a suspicious, unattended device left at a Greyhound bus terminal, which turned out…
I am obsessed with gender reveal parties. I love those things! Which is why as soon as I saw the first viral video of an…