Des Moines, Iowa’s Slipknot has been rocking venues tattered and torn since 1995, and you gruff punk mockers need to stop acting like you are above pinch harmonics, frenetic percussion, metal bands in costumes, and pools of stinky sweat. Spoiler alert: You’re not, and we know your kind. Anyway, Slipknot has seven studio albums and we are ranking them in perfect order from worst to best. Thus, no EPs, live albums, compilations or demo albums (“Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat.” we’re looking at you) are listed. You can take this up with Wikipedia and/or Ross Robinson if you disagree with a literal fact.
7. All Hope Is Gone (2008)
We heard that Juggalos are deceptively nice, but we know that Slipknot has influenced more bands than said ICP fans can count. One album legally had to be ranked last, and this 2008 Slipknot LP had to take the cold black cupcake. Still, even a “bad” Slipknot LP is good sans quotes, and “All Hope Is Gone,” despite being a disjointed listen with more figurative misses than literal hits contains one of their most beloved singles, “Psychosocial.” If you don’t know what psychosocial means, read on: According to Wikipedia, the gospel of truth, the psychosocial approach looks at individuals in the context of the combined influence that psychological factors and the surrounding social environment have on their physical and mental wellness and their ability to function. Say that three times fast; Slipknot = smart.
Play it again: “Psychosocial”
Skip it: “Wherein Lies Continue”
6. The End, So Far (2022)
At first glance, “The End, So Far” reads like it is going to be a combination of a farewell/hiatus/cash grab LP and a greatest hits/rarities/B-sides album. Once one views the actual track listing, the fact that the band ended the twelve-track record and their shortest LP altogether with a song “Finale” may confirm the initial first half of our posit but cancels out the second half. Still, regardless of what’s next for the band 2023-beyond, this acidic release is ambitious with a capital “A” for Adderall, but isn’t as memorable as the following five for fighting. We hear that “The End, So Far” is the band’s last for Roadrunner, but something tells us that Wile E. Coyote may have something else up his sleeve.
Play it again: “Yen”
Skip it: “Acidic”
5. .5: The Gray Chapter (2014)
Self-awareness alert: Album number five for the band is listed at number five here. Whoa. Hot take alert: If entries #7 or #6 contained the band’s best single of their career (this album’s “The Devil in I”) then our ranking list would’ve been different, and that’s NOT us being sarcastic. Yep. Furthermore, the gap between “.5: The Gray Chapter” and its predecessor “All Hope Is Gone” is the band’s longest between releases, and said delay was for the best, as heard in the songs here. However, we will likely be a devil to all of you skeptics and negative ones with this far-too-high or way-too-low ranking, as even if we listed these seven disasterpieces in the order that you agreed with, you’d still try to override and bitch, bitch, bitch. Tell us we’re wrong, but that will prove us right.
Play it again: “The Devil in I”
Skip it: “Be Prepared for Hell”
4. We Are Not Your Kind (2019)
Despite being the only Slipknot release to come out during the critical darling/cum dump/surprising-also-not-surpising-hero-to-Christians/former game show host known as Donald Trump’s first and hopefully only presidential term, 2019’s “We Are Not Your Kind” is the band’s best album to come out after 2004, and truly deserves more praise as an entity. We know that old-school phonies who claim to be Slipknot heads will likely scoff at this modern record’s high placement because what is new always sucks. Always.
Play it again: “Nero Forte”
Skip it: “Insert Coin”; the album should’ve started with “Unsainted” and you know we’re right unless you don’t
3. Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses) (2004)
Welcome: The famous or infamous trilogy starts now, and we’re kicking it off with its end, the bronze-medalist known as Slipknot’s monster LP “Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses). Self-awareness alert part deux: Album number three for the band is listed at number three here. Valid. Whoa and hot take alert part deux: Albums 3-1 have NO “skip it” section. Nil. Before we get into the specifics of “Vol. 3: (The Subliminal Verses), we’d like to remark that we’re still unsure why the “subliminal verses” verbiage in the (actual) album title is in parentheses. Anyway, the legendary Rick Rubin produced this specific Slipknot record, and his epic beard shows such brilliance in the songs! So, so good and so, so brutal. We’re likely going to shock/disappoint/cause a double take next, but that’s just par for the course.
Play it again: “Duality”
Skip it: This was already discussed
2. Self-Titled (1999)
The whole thing WE think is sick, the whole thing WE think is sick: We’ve been not-so-casually waiting to perish by bleeding out for this specific placement since the start of this article since none of you Slipknot-obsessed readers reading this surprisingly/unsurprisingly readable piece has a life. Still, this record is one of the finest metal/metal-adjacent. Slipknot stormed the gates of the aggressive music community with their self-titled debut LP in 1999 and twenty-four years later is still rocking your faces and masks off. All nine members of the band infected your ears from this album’s beginning at second one to the ending at sixty minutes and fifteen seconds, and it still holds up today. Wear your t-shirts with pride and get ready to scream “Are you reeeeeady” like the band’s peers in Trust Company.
Play it again: (sic)
Skip it: No thank you
1. Iowa (2001)
Last hot take here as there is no room for any more plague-inducing scorchers that will forever cause us to be hated: “Iowa,” as an album title but not as a state, should get slightly more love than “Slipknot,” as an album title but not as the band itself. That was truly a mouthful, but speaking of that region, we don’t envy Corey Taylor’s throat after recording this guttural, guttural studio album. Since 2001, the vocalist for Stone Sour’s voice has never sounded the same, and while we rightfully praise his pain and effort, we can’t legally vouch for others trying to do the same to their respective voices: Sing gently, singers, as everything ends. In closing, “Iowa” is the polar opposite of a sophomore slump and deserves a revisit twenty-two years later.
Play it again: The whole thing front-to-back or Clown will beat you senseless and eat you in front of your family
Skip it: Do not
All the best dreamers, from Jay Gatsby to Don Draper to Robert Zimmerman to Michael Jackson, got their start in the Midwest. You’ll do well to have been born here.
Holy shit, it will inspire you—and get your ass on that no-other-option bus to Tinseltown. Of course, when you make it, you won’t cite “Oprah” as the reason you dropped forensic accounting to make it big in L.A. But that’s the reason. That’s the reason.
So many talents have squandered their shot to make it big because their ticket said “Albany” and not “Los Angeles.” Yes, they smashed the Albany scene, but have you heard of them?
Studies show that odds of making it in Hollywood decrease exponentially after failing to find Slash within the first 48 hours.
Pretty simple when you get right down to it. This town rewards talent, so if you have 30 chart toppers ready to go then everyone will welcome you with open arms.
You’ll need Uncle Ned and Aunt Sheila’s house on weekends when you’re out of laundry and money for CVS-brand Zoloft. Jeez, dude. Ten dollars really was a pretty silly idea, wasn’t it? You can’t even buy a sandwich for 10 fucking dollars.
At least while you get back on your feet. A lot of record moguls will hire you, and it’s not impolite to slip them a demo on your way out.
Sure, you can afford better with your new gig as a high end escort. But come on, dude! All your faves roughed it like this before they cut a deal with Geffen.
Badass, right? Plus, whoever sticks with you through this vagabond stage—that’s your band. Shuffle instruments accordingly.
Shit—this probably shoulda been number 1. If you’re ugly you’re going to want to stay away from L.A. altogether. Consider staying in the midwest, all the ugliest people on the world already live there so you might even be considered somewhat attractive there.
This is a solid debut, and the band shows off their aptitude for the good old loud-quiet-loud formula right out of the gate, as well as drummer Dave Turncrantz’ ability to incorporate understated syncopation into unexpected moments in almost every song. This album sounds like exactly what it is: an entirely enjoyable proof-of-concept for what the band will go on to do. It’s just that they’ll go on to do it even better.
This record went in two directions at once: The soft parts got softer and the heavy parts got heavier. That’s a great concept in theory, and there are some absolute ragers on here, not to mention a few moments where you might be tempted to dig your lava lamp out of the attic. The album’s structure was allegedly inspired by Pink Floyd’s “Animals,” right down to the bookending tracks “Memoriam” and “Memorial.” For any band aspiring to play eclectic instrumental metal, this might be a masterpiece. Russian Circles’ discography is so close to flawless that we’ve somehow put it at #7.
The production on this record shows just how hot Russian Circles was at this point. Not only was Kurt Fucking Ballou handling the engineering, but much of the tracking was done at Steve Goddamn Albini’s Electrical Audio studio. And unsurprisingly, as with just about everything Ballou touches, the sound is just absolutely impeccable, especially the drums. That man just knows exactly how to mic a kit, and it helps that the drumwork on this record is just dynamite. Exhibit A: track #2, “Arluck.” Ballou puts the drums just a notch higher in the mix than you might expect, and the outcome is magical. The band also does more with transitions between songs than in the past, creating a seamlessness that is fairly common in the genre, but that reaches its apex here. The segue from the gentle “Ghost on High” to the crushing “Sinaia” is so perfectly-executed that it might as well be a single track. The end of the record starts to feel a little more generic – the chuggy riffs in “Quartered” are a little uninspired – but again, “generic” Russian Circles is better than a whole lot of other stuff you could be listening to.
Adding a strings section to a metal record is always a dicey proposition. You risk sounding too soft or too pretentious or too much like you’re trying to hang with bands whose genre tags include words like “symphonic.” But unsurprisingly, Russian Circles nails it, adding cello by Allison Chesley and violin by Susan Voelz. Their contributions don’t change the fundamental shape of the band’s sound; they just add depth and nuance, which is pretty much exactly what you should expect from these sorts of collaborations. Bassist Brian Cook showcases his ability to shift on a dime from reliable rhythm section journeyman to standout virtuoso. This album feels like a bleak but oddly pretty winter afternoon between Christmas and New Year’s, and we cannot more highly recommend having it in your ears while you take a long walk in the woods.
Now that we’ve hit the top half of the list, we could easily and happily put the remaining records in almost any order and be happy with it. First off, this album is NOT a recording of all those dudes on the cover singing a metal version of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic,” so be careful about gifting this to your veteran grandfather. We learned that one the hard way. No, “Station” is an outstanding introduction to Russian Circles’ unique sound, which is to say – though this is generally the kiss of death in underground and heavy music – it’s pretty accessible. It also includes “Harper Lewis,” perhaps Russian Circles’ signature song, an immaculately-constructed piece of post-metal that features guitarist Mike Sullivan’s understated virtuosity at finger-tapping and knowing exactly how and when to use his loop pedals. Speaking of, it’s kinda odd that we’ve gotten this far in the list without even mentioning Sullivan, who, as guitarist, has a sort of de facto leadership role in the band. But his ability to do exactly what each song needs, which often means stepping back and letting Cook and Turncrantz run the show, is a big part of what makes this band great.
It’s easy to think of Russian Circles primarily as a studio band because, well, they make kick-ass records. But also because their sound is dense and layered and they only have three full-time members, so they obviously have to rely pretty substantially on multitracking. But they are still crushingly heavy live, thanks largely to how well Sullivan knows his way around a pedalboard. This live set from Belgium captures that brilliantly.
There was a critical consensus when this album came out that the songs felt a little more feral than fussed-over, and that rough-around-the-edges quality will be pretty apparent by the time the album is halfway over. The chuggy bass works perfectly on tracks like “Vorel,” coming across more as an organic outgrowth of the songwriting than like a post-metal take on “Kill ‘Em All,” which is sometimes more the case on their earliest work. There are also some really intense mid-song tempo shifts that briefly make us think of technical death metal, a genre that we can imagine these guys listen to, but would never ever describe them as. We wouldn’t argue with anyone who made this their #1 or #2 pick.
Holy HELL, did they ever go hard on this one. This was Russian Circles’ pandemic album, and it shows in every single note. It’s the sound of a creative mind in isolation scratching ferociously at the walls. We have to imagine that, at some point, they were tempted to title it “Quarantine” because that’s the best possible description of its aesthetic. The YouTuber critics at Thralls of Metal put it best with two perfect encapsulations of “Gnosis’” whole deal: “The riffs in half of these songs are out to hurt you” and (paraphrased): “I never thought I’d stank-face to Russian Circles.” We couldn’t put it better. The one outlier, “O Braonáin,” a dreamy 105-second lullaby, sounds like something you could play at an Irish funeral, but shouldn’t, because when the first notes of “Betrayal” hit without warning, the deceased’s family would be very upset with you. This record is awesome, and a legitimate contender for #1.
This was probably Russian Circles’ heaviest work before “Gnosis” dropped over a decade later, and it is just about perfect. The songwriting is top-notch. The see-sawing dynamics – loud and soft, abrasive and sonorous, grandiose and modest – are cohesive and organically intertwined. And album opener “309” is an unassailable masterpiece, a twisty and complex 9-minute scorcher that brings together thrash, doom, ambient, and an overarching apocalyptic sensibility that carries throughout the whole record.
