Press "Enter" to skip to content

Frontman Cuts Bangs After Breaking Up With Band

SEATTLE – Tyler Moss, the frontman of up-and-coming local grunge revival band Bent Angles raised quite a few eyebrows after suddenly exiting the band and self-administering a hack-job haircut by cutting off his bangs, sources confirmed through stifled laughter.

“I just felt like it was time for me to make a drastic change and get out of this toxic partnership before it’s too late,” said Moss, while compulsively trying to fix his bangs in the side mirror of a car. “I woke up one morning and realized that to truly let go and feel like a new person I needed to look like a new person. The shears were right there, and I just went to town. Now I feel lighter, flirtier, and more confident than I’ve felt in a very long time. You know the saying, ‘New you, new do.’ The other lead singers in town better watch out, I’m coming for your band.”

Former bassist Greg Stills can’t help but think that Moss’ new hairstyle is a desperate cry for help, but still can’t stop laughing.

“Tyler’s been acting like he was in some sort of abusive relationship, but things were going great before he suddenly flipped out and quit the band. We finished playing a sold-out show, and next thing you know he said it was just ‘too much pressure’ after we asked if we could park the van in his driveway for a few days.” said Stills. “A week later, he’s adding ‘moonbeam’ to all of his social media handles, and saying how he finally has room to grow after being unhappy for so many years. But we’ve only been a band for eight months.”

Scene stylist Herschel Bonaventure suggests that Moss is simply finding himself, and things could actually be much worse.

“By the looks of it, Tyler isn’t too far gone, and he can reverse the damage he subjected himself to. Bucket hats are coming back, and in six months’ time, nobody will even notice that he chopped all of his bangs off like an unsupervised 14-year-old after their first breakup,” said Bonaventure. “If he’s willing to bury the hatchet with his bandmates, they might welcome him back with open arms. It’s probably all just a misunderstanding. And it could be worse. At least he hasn’t dyed his hair red and taken up roller derby.”

At press time, Moss was spotted walking by his former bandmates, pretending to laugh into his cell phone in an attempt to make them jealous.