John Danek
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BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Pretentious bourbon sniffer Patrick Welles is ruining the otherwise fun vibes of an impromptu house party hang…
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Patrick Crooks
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LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s…
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It started out like any other Tuesday. I was day-drinking with my usual tallboys of Bud Light Chelada with Clamato,…
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Patrick Crooks
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GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up…
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Patrick Crooks
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BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local punk, Brian Gibbs, were astonished to learn that the known raging drunk considers…
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Ryan Danley
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LOS ANGELES — Producers and directors tasked with creating a new batch of reboots were left scrambling to find new…
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James Knapp
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I’ve always been the outdoorsy type. There’s nothing I love more than wrapping myself in a dirty flannel and striking…
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Dan Rice
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It’s always embarrassing when people come to your home and it’s one of the 358 days out of the year…
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Dom Turek
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MUNCIE, Ind. — A local man’s brush with death after drunkenly falling from a third-story balcony on Tuesday inspired him…
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James Knapp
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It’s been over a year and you've been crushing your sobriety. Over twelve straight months without a drop of alcohol…
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