OKLAHOMA CITY — Local punk Gary Trentson is recycling his New Year’s resolution for Lent this year after failing miserably on his initial attempt back…
JACKSON, Miss. — A recent tarot card reading from obviously hungover woman Divina Roth was actually little more than a recount of the Ross/Rachel storyline…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Friends of Terence Hart report today that his knack for ruining parties with his alcoholism has transitioned into ruining parties with his…
Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your mouth. But I’ve recently come…
BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have found a definitive link between…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Alana Enders’ depression ostensibly reached a new low when she told the bartender at White Horse Tavern to “leave the…
Hitting the bottle a little too hard? It seems everyone is getting on the wagon these days and the general consensus is that ‘sober’ isn’t…
BALTIMORE — A new study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that the mysterious glow many women experience during their early months of…
CHICAGO — Your friend from out of town is gearing up for a real whirlwind of activities this weekend, and emailed earlier today to let…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Kevin Cole and his friends failed again moments ago attempting to sneak a keg into a DIY venue, according to sources…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Local man and “Mr. Fucking Big Shot” Dan Paulson was allegedly acting last night “like his shit don’t stink” because he…