Okay so this is all still a bit strange, and frankly we’re still very hungover, but let us give you a little bit of background…
Traditions can eat a dick. They’re always accompanied by violent cultural baggage or a devastating family memory involving my Aunt. However, a few years back,…
As time goes on, I realize America isn’t the country I once thought it was. I honestly believed that work ethic and ingenuity would get…
It’s fine. I am telling you it’s fine. If it will make you feel better I will already do it first. I mean I haven’t…
BOSTON — Former drinker Mackenzie Stodd has fully shifted her addictive tendencies by committing all her free time and energy into the much more expensive…
HOUSTON — Local “hot mess” Terri Garter is confident she found the long-awaited solution to get her life back on track in a $20 daily…
LEMOYNE, Penn. — Roommate and all-around jackass Glen Sullivan reportedly drank the last beer in the house moments after having sex with your girlfriend of…
MIAMI — Craft beer obsessive Aaron York was thoroughly confused yesterday by his girlfriend’s request to fill out a personality test that failed to include…
For many, the road to recovery is a long, harrowing journey down a path paved in the stones from their rock bottom. Mantras are repeated,…
Let me get one thing straight. This may be a punk house, but we’re upper-crust-punks. Whatever I offer my guests is of a caliber so…
As we’ve all learned first hand from our uncles at any family function, alcohol can have a devastating effect on the human mind and body.…
Let’s face it, getting older brings a new series of challenges when it comes to getting totally fucked up. Higher tolerance, harsher hangovers, coworkers who…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Crust punk Brad DelFino’s bathing attempt brought tragedy to his community yesterday, as sources report the 10-minute shower somehow left DelFino grosser…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — A selection of various movie and television titles gave an ultimatum to the streaming service Netflix last week that if it…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Roommates Jonah Gray and Nic Shore have become fast friends under New York State’s PAUSE order by simply reinforcing each other’s drinking…