SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Local man and “Mr. Fucking Big Shot” Dan Paulson was allegedly acting last night “like his shit don’t stink” because he…
Some people are able to drink in moderation. I’ve been told, on many occasions, that I am certainly not one of those people. So much…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…
FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Obvious alcoholic and general mess of a human being Jerrold Long announced today that he will spend the entire evening, and the…
So here I am at yet another gathering of my closest friends and family. It seems like we gather almost every month to talk about,…
A study out of Park High School in central Indiana shows that 9 out of 10 teens splitting a case of Coors stolen from Greg’s…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman and functional alcoholic Misty Peterson is reportedly in good spirits today, after a week-long hangover stemming from last Saturday night resolved…
Oh ho ho, would you look at this shit. Looks like somebody got a beer belly over the years. Somebody who used to judge me…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Roommates at punk/party house the Snake Pit are reportedly growing alarmed by the complete lack of water intake by fellow resident…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local drummer Murphy Hartly models his intense drum sound and out-of-control drinking problem after his idol, the deceased Led Zeppelin drummer…
This one goes out to my REAL problem drinkers. Saturday is St. Patrick’s Day, which is basically Comic-Con for Poser Alcoholics, and that means all…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…