AUBURN HILLS, Mi. — Major US automotive company Chrysler announced that its new 2022 line of vehicles were as big as a whale, and fully…
HOMEWOOD, Ill. — First responders are attempting to reach a group of fathers that became stuck when a local man-cave weakened and toppled around them…
CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard after going through her vinyl…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we look back on the 1985 album that…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they are more than likely being…
SEATTLE — Local amateur groupie Sarah Pepper is reportedly horrified after accidentally sleeping with the deceased body lying behind a local bar’s PA system. “I…
When 10-year-old Jackson Tolbert’s teacher told her students to write an essay about their “hero,” she expected most of them would choose athletes, action heroes,…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local punk Randy “Dirty Randy” Lopez made a surprisingly well-thought-out and articulated case for the Chrysler PT Cruiser as a counter-culture icon,…
According to some fans, “The Simpsons” has predicted numerous future events, including the election of Donald Trump and a tiger attack of Siegfried and Roy.…
WASHINGTON — Fox News host Tucker Carlson used the 1981 Dead Kennedys song “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” as one of the first examples of cancel…
Did you hear about Death Metal Dave? Yeah, he got ANOTHER job. Ever since he slammed on a lame-ass frontside boardslide on the flatbar at…
LONDON — American ska band Big Potatoes recently caused the worst traffic jam in UK history while attempting to incorporate every band member in a…
I’ve always found it strange that people need a device to beep them awake. Partially because that sounds like such a harsh way to start…