TULSA, Okla. — Local Netflix viewer Trevor Doyle spent the past 24 hours frantically binge watching Martin Scorsese films to push “Project Runway” off his…
CONROE, Texas — RadioShack employee Rachel Meinke reportedly has “no fucking clue” why she’s considered an essential employee during the COVID-19 lockdown, bored and kind…
Apparently the higher-ups at The Hard Times want to get in on the foodie craze and for some reason they thought now would be a…
DEMING, N.M. — Local insurance salesman Ben Romero was written up today for missing work for the second day in a row with no phone…
YONKERS, N.Y. — 83-year-old Judith Swanson tragically passed away last night at New York Presbyterian Hospital due to complications from a lethal hoax perpetrated by…
WASHINGTON — President Trump showcased his overflowing Easter basket earlier today after outperforming “low IQ” children during the annual Easter egg hunt on the White…
LAS VEGAS — “Undercover Boss” and Biscotti Pizza CEO Alex Prescott is pretty pissed he risked his own well-being when he asked himself to come…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local strip club The Devil’s Crutch displayed their commitment to public health yesterday by retrofitting their sprinkler system with Purell following its…
ELKINS, W.Va. — Country Chodes bass player Jared Cole doesn’t realize his bandmates have had him muted for almost the entirety of their rehearsal held…
KEENE, N.H. — Local bartender Erika Crawford was devastated today by her positive diagnosis for COVID-19 along with several types of rare cancer following a…
Noted pop culture collectible company Funko will be expanding their line of vinyl figures with their latest release, Coronavirus. But isn’t it a little too…
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local rhythm guitarist Glenn Wemple is increasingly worried about all this “non-essential” talk amid the coronavirus pandemic and the ensuing social distancing…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Wendell Slacks, who has consistently boasted throughout the years about how proud he is to not own a TV, looks…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders announced today that he will put all of his unsold merchandise for sale on his Bandcamp following his…