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We Picked a Shit Time to Start Reviewing Restaurants, but Here Goes Nothing

Apparently the higher-ups at The Hard Times want to get in on the foodie craze and for some reason they thought now would be a good time to embark on this endeavor. We’ve been socially isolating but we’re also running low on food that doesn’t require cooking, so we volunteered. Now let’s get eatin’!

Bon Mange Cajun Bistro – For this review, I left the Big Apple behind and took a trip down to my hometown of Lafayette, Louisiana to get a firsthand idea of what’s been cookin’ at one of the city’s best kept secrets: Bon Mange Cajun Bistro.

A little known staple of South Louisiana cuisine, Bon Mange Cajun Bistro is located in beautiful Downtown Lafayette. With mural-spangled buildings and well-maintained landscaping, not only is the surrounding scenery of Lafayette’s quaint downtown area a delight to take in, but parking during lunch hour was surprisingly easy! I was very pleased to find a spot instantly upon arrival. Location – 100/100

Curb Appeal – The storefront is absolutely gorgeous. Neon lights sit dormant atop a Broadway theater-style marquee. Muted bulbs bulge into the cool afternoon air around plastic lettering. There was a sign on the door that read:


This will be harder than I thought. I’ll keep rating what I can. Curb Appeal – 50/100

Entrance – I was pleased to discover that unlike most urban storefronts, there wasn’t the usual obstacle of a drop-down cage barrier separating me from the ultimate prize: A crawfish bisque so savory you’ll commit a low level crime like leaving your house during a quarantine to get a bite. Using an old trick I learned in high school, I had the glass door deadbolt picked in less than 2 minutes. Not quite my record but I’m in no rush. Entrance – 80/100

Alarm System – This is where it gets tricky. I should’ve anticipated they’d go all out on security. They’ve got the Brink Burglar Buster 3000. It’s almost impossible to crack. With only 10 seconds before it triggers a police response, I’m gonna have to get real lucky, real fast.


Well that’s not it. I better scoot. Given the location, LPD will be here any second. Alarm System – 100/100

Valet – Officer Savoie had Denise’s Wrecker Service tow my SUV after cuffing me. From the window of the cruiser I could see it was handled with care and consideration. They even folded in my mirrors. Nice. My keys, however, were still in the ignition when I went to pick it up and the battery was dead. Valet: 75/100

That’s the only restaurant we were able to review this week. Thanks for reading and keep an eye out for our upcoming review of the Lafayette Parish Correctional cafeteria.