Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

March 25, 2020

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The cam girl you’ve been throwing money at when you should have been working from home…

March 25, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A heavily discounted DVD of the Steve Carell vehicle “Evan Almighty” is “really fucking pushing it” by…

March 24, 2020

LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit HBO docu-series “McMillions” are pitching their next fast food true crime story,…

March 15, 2020

TACOMA, Wash. — Bassist Todd Francona, recently accused of sexual misconduct by several women, was just happy that his name…

March 9, 2020

DENVER — A controversial new study conducted by “a gaggle of lame-ass dorks with like, basically two followers or whatever”…

March 9, 2020

SALT LAKE CITY — Relatively tidy local woman Aaliyah Thomson is allegedly debating which side of her horrendously stained and…

March 5, 2020

ST. LOUIS — Former Vice President Joe Biden admitted earlier today that he hates to see Elizabeth Warren leave the…

March 3, 2020

Sorry to burst your fragile little bubbles but there are only two genders. You’re either a man or a woman.…

February 23, 2020

CAPE MAY, N.J. — Punk mom Tracy Barber admitted today that the forearm tattoos listing the names of her children…

February 21, 2020

FAIRHOPE, Ala. — Davey Armstrong, the only drummer of note in his small town, is doing a poor job of…