PHILADELPHIA — Local woman Juliana Azzara passed the four hours waiting for her train last night by asking a man at a nearby dive bar…
NEW YORK — The highly anticipated Ramones “Word of the Day” calendar was released yesterday, which disappointed but unsurprised fans found repeats itself by mid-March…
PORTLAND, Maine. — Music fan Trevor Eastman’s Pandora account is still reeling from the painful, ear-wrenching effects of giving a thumbs-up to a Simple Plan…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Avid ska fans and recently married couple Judy Gillespie and Leonard Roth capped off their wedding celebration last night with their very…
NEW YORK — Fast food chain White Castle held a plaque dedication ceremony this morning commemorating the 30 mini-burger order that “encouraged” musician GG Allin’s…
MINNEAPOLIS — Guitarist Bradley Eflin claimed last night that he was “going out for smokes” before allegedly abandoning his band of 12 years to pursue…
BOSTON — Popular fantasy author Rick Riordan announced via Twitter today that his character Percy Jackson is a pansexual fuck machine, regularly engaging in “Olympic-esque…
What can we do to be truly, wholy “happy?” In my long, arduous 22-year existence, I have found that these 5 mind-blowing life hacks are…
Even though it ended in 2013 The Office is more popular than ever thanks to its enduring, relatable characters. The original American version obviously, not…
NEW YORK — Famed film auteur Wes Anderson unceremoniously announced today that his next movie would be about “a sad guy watching birds or some…
OMAHA, Neb. — A decades-old Rancid T-shirt finally crossed the threshold last week from a piece of dingy, raggedy garbage that offended all who gazed…
FUCK FUCK FUCK: Internet Tough Guy Also Actual Tough Guy
DETROIT — Reddit user Gary Johannson accidentally messed yesterday with the one tough guy on the Internet who wasn’t lying, unintentionally putting Johannson in the…