Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

December 24, 2019

Before we start eating, I’d just like to say what we’re all thinking. This is our first Christmas without Uncle…

December 23, 2019

SALT LAKE CITY — Local 33-year-old Tom Marshman was sorely dissapointed today to learn he is actually “37 fucking years…

December 20, 2019

My step-dad was always a hard ass. He'd embarrass me in front of my friends, emasculate me in front of…

December 17, 2019

NORMAN, Okla. — A surprising new study found that it’s way easier to just change your password every time you…

December 16, 2019

IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone…

December 12, 2019

MINNEAPOLIS — Local indie band C4 and a Chocolate Bar severely overestimated their show attendance and audience’s wants last night…

December 11, 2019

Celebrities - they’re just like us in that they’re kind of assholes. Recently, we got the opportunity to interview acclaimed…

December 9, 2019

PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eric Sullivan still eats with his arm around his plate like a hardened, PTSD-suffering prisoner after…

December 8, 2019

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Millennial punk and generally clumsy dolt Tony Drummond bellowed several ironic “Tim Allen” grunts yesterday before accidentally…

December 6, 2019

HOLLYWOOD — CBS sitcom “Bright Spot” used a punk cover of the holiday classic “Santa Baby” recorded by The Erectroplasms…