Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

February 1, 2020

There is no way to tell John Mellencamp’s story without telling my own. And if his story is really a…

January 31, 2020

CHICAGO — Polyamorous man John Castenda gallantly put both of his girlfriends on his shoulders at the Rainy Days Music…

January 25, 2020

COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming…

January 22, 2020

BETHESDA, Md. — Local woman Tabitha Wicksham is “not at all worried” about her husband sleeping with groupies during his…

January 18, 2020

STAFFORD, Texas — 59-year-old custom bathroom tile salesman John Canales was shocked to learn from his punk son yesterday that…

January 14, 2020

DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of…

January 12, 2020

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Recently stabbed, profusely bleeding, and chronically uninsured drummer Tommy Rivera is insisting his band add at least…

January 11, 2020

ROME, N.Y. — Local folk-punk band and inconsiderate neighbors Brewdog asked the old man who lives downstairs and banging on…

January 11, 2020

NEW YORK — A large-scale data breach of Tumblr’s current user base compromised the personal information of all 12 horny,…

January 10, 2020

NEWARK, N.J. — Local punk and expert responsibility-avoider Dean Freeman asked his neighbor this morning to throw out all his…

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