SARASOTA, Fla — Local man Daniel Mulrennan made a potentially friendship-damaging mistake moments ago, blurting out, “I can’t make it” before his friend even said…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local punk Niles Torsten displayed the “LOV” and “HAT” tattoos on his gnarled fingers last night while warning partygoers about improper…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Teenage punk and C+ student Geoff Berger was given a second yearbook photo this week to accommodate his 18-inch high, multi-colored…
By 1969, the Chipmunks had hit a creative and commercial brick wall, with the public seemingly sick of rodent-based novelty songs. The band and manager…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Real-deal, bloodsucking vampire Count Adhemar Chauve-Souris was vehemently dismissed as a poser today by mall goths he was recruiting for his gaggle…
LODI, N.J. — A group of neighborhood kids scattered and hid for the rest of the afternoon yesterday after their baseball accidentally smashed “crazy old…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Aging punk and amateur life coach Robbie Ginsburg was charged today with criminal negligence after authorities discovered four of his mentees died…
MESA, Ariz. — Local man Jeffrey Woodward is running out of good sides of his mouth to chew with, thanks to his lack of dental…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man Bryan Walsh is terrified and “jumping to insane conclusions” this morning after his father, commercial electrician Murray Walsh, cryptically said…
[Ed note: Leaving the Iggy Pop obit in the draft folder. Great idea to get this written up ahead of time. I mean, have you…
Many of us tend to put rock stars and touring musicians on pedestals. But the truth is, the music industry is rife with unscrupulous, unsavory,…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A small, unorganized local collection of punks, transients, and drug addicts with minimal artistic ability and motivation keep referring to themselves as…