Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

March 30, 2020

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured…

March 26, 2020

LOS ANGELES — “The Masked Singer” fans were shocked last night when the sassy, playful, incognito contestant Mr. Monster was…

March 25, 2020

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The cam girl you’ve been throwing money at when you should have been working from home…

March 25, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A heavily discounted DVD of the Steve Carell vehicle “Evan Almighty” is “really fucking pushing it” by…

March 24, 2020

LOS ANGELES — The producers of the hit HBO docu-series “McMillions” are pitching their next fast food true crime story,…

March 15, 2020

TACOMA, Wash. — Bassist Todd Francona, recently accused of sexual misconduct by several women, was just happy that his name…

March 9, 2020

DENVER — A controversial new study conducted by “a gaggle of lame-ass dorks with like, basically two followers or whatever”…

March 9, 2020

SALT LAKE CITY — Relatively tidy local woman Aaliyah Thomson is allegedly debating which side of her horrendously stained and…

March 5, 2020

ST. LOUIS — Former Vice President Joe Biden admitted earlier today that he hates to see Elizabeth Warren leave the…

March 3, 2020

Sorry to burst your fragile little bubbles but there are only two genders. You’re either a man or a woman.…