Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

July 25, 2020

BLUFFINGTON — Roger Klotz, son of famed monster truck driver Edwina Klotz and former middle school bully, is “a fucking…

July 22, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — An anonymous protestor sporting a distinctive mohawk, dozens of gold chains, and American flag Zubaz pants was spotted…

July 8, 2020

SARASOTA, Fla. — Local musician, blog editor-in-chief, stand-up comedian, and medical records clerk Geordie Warren has his only real paying…

July 5, 2020

CRYSTAL COVE — A team of amateur sleuths and their Great Dane known as “Mystery Inc.” got more than they…

July 5, 2020

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local depressed woman Jane Lively mindlessly broke the hot dog-eating world record yesterday after consuming 76 weiners…

June 19, 2020

WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in…

May 26, 2020

WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden publicly stated his intention today to defund the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee,”…

May 24, 2020

Hiya Kelly. Just wanted to pop in real quick and rap with you a sec. You remember that great idea…

May 22, 2020

Anyone who has ever rented property before knows full well that the whole system is rigged to screw over tenants.…

May 18, 2020

CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all…

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