COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local depressed woman Jane Lively mindlessly broke the hot dog-eating world record yesterday after consuming 76 weiners…
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Genetic scientists have resurrected a dead punk scene using the DNA of an original guitarist preserved in…
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WILMINGTON, Del. — Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden publicly stated his intention today to defund the “Itty Bitty Titty Committee,”…
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Hiya Kelly. Just wanted to pop in real quick and rap with you a sec. You remember that great idea…
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Anyone who has ever rented property before knows full well that the whole system is rigged to screw over tenants.…
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CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all…
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SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played…
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NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no…
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PHILADELPHIA — Quarantined Bella Vista resident Zack Simmons is so desperate for any interaction with his fellow Philadelphians, he’s resorted…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A surprising new study found that in reality, your cat’s voice sounds nothing like the lispy, insultingly…
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