Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

May 22, 2020

Anyone who has ever rented property before knows full well that the whole system is rigged to screw over tenants.…

May 18, 2020

CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all…

May 9, 2020

SPANISH FORT, Ala. — Millennial Thomas Cervantes proudly stated today that he’s old enough to remember when MTV still played…

May 8, 2020

NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no…

May 1, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — Quarantined Bella Vista resident Zack Simmons is so desperate for any interaction with his fellow Philadelphians, he’s resorted…

April 25, 2020

SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A surprising new study found that in reality, your cat’s voice sounds nothing like the lispy, insultingly…

March 30, 2020

ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “wannabe Patch Adams bitch” Dan Paulson is allegedly acting like “he cured…

March 26, 2020

LOS ANGELES — “The Masked Singer” fans were shocked last night when the sassy, playful, incognito contestant Mr. Monster was…

March 25, 2020

NEW HAVEN, Conn. — The cam girl you’ve been throwing money at when you should have been working from home…

March 25, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — A heavily discounted DVD of the Steve Carell vehicle “Evan Almighty” is “really fucking pushing it” by…