Brewing “Company” Just One Incredibly Insufferable Man
CHICAGO — Area hobbyist Keith James spent the majority of yesterday evening referring to his solo operation as a “Brewing…
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Jonah Nink — Page 3
93 stories found
Tearful Hans Zimmer Pushes Off Ska Album Again After Getting Hired to Compose Another Dumb Movie Score
LOS ANGELES — A discouraged Hans Zimmer closed out the GarageBand tab on his long-delayed ska album to begin work…
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The 11 Most Unnecessary Movie Sequels
Despite what your self-help podcast might say, it’s very easy to have too much of a good thing. No truer…
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“Sure, I’ll Check Out Primus” Says Person on Worst Date of Their Life
CARBONDALE, Ill. — Area woman Meg Sebastian conceded that she would “check out Primus” in a desperate bid to end…
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It’s Your Dad’s Grave But It’s Our Community’s Smoking Spot
Hey bud, sorry to interrupt your kneeling sesh or whatever this, but we kind of need this spot. Sure it’s…
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At Least My Uncle Died Doing What He Loved: Listening to Joe Rogan’s Vaccine Advice
Covid has killed over 700 thousand Americans since the beginning of 2020. Unfortunately, my beloved uncle Lee became another statistic…
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REPORT: Tracksuit Industry “Will Never Recover” From Squid Game
NEW YORK — Tony’s Tracksuits CEO Anthony Dante announced this morning that the tracksuit industry’s image “will never recover” from…
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Kid Catches Up on The Sopranos by Watching Italian Friend’s Parents Fight
TOMS RIVER, N.J. — Middle-schooler Gavin Dirnt caught up on the beloved HBO series “The Sopranos” by watching his Italian…
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Frontman Never Heard Drummer Speak Before Podcast Interview
CHICAGO — Dad Belly frontman Blake Thomas was shocked to discover that he had never actually heard longtime drummer Sophie…
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Having Mutton Chops Doesn’t Mean I Know About Boats, but Yeah That’s Actually the Stern
Woah, woah, woah. Anchors down. Full stop. Just because I have mutton chops and happen to be standing on a…
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