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Quarantine Is Ending, Which Means It’s Finally Time To Start My Novel

Lowering infection rates, more vaccinations and a healthy crowd of people inside Applebee’s can only mean one thing; Quarantine is ending! The return to normalcy has given me the inspiration to finally start writing the great American novel. And I mean it this time.

I mean yeah, it would have been nice to have a novel done by now, but it just wasn’t the right time. People will tell you that quarantine was the perfect opportunity to work on creative projects but they’re dead wrong. It’s a well known fact that a large amount of free-time like that clouds the mind and stifles your creative energies. They say great art comes from unprecedented times? Bullshit! I write my best during precedented times. Besides, I was still pretty busy during quarantine anyway. I had to, uh, walk the dog and… work stuff.

Basically what I learned is that I can’t write my art in a vacuum, so now I just have to write my art between work and family and going out and stuff, which I was not doing before. So I’m halfway there.

Do I regret making all those posts at the beginning of quarantine about how I was going to use the time to work on my novel? Not all! The operating word is “work,” which technically is still true. My writer brain is always in motion, even when I’m not writing. I may look like I’m watching WandaVision on the outside, but on the inside I’m conjuring up worlds and stories that would blow your fucking mind, dude. I’m talking about some “Infinite Jest” level shit. My novel is basically done at this point. All I have to do now is just write, which is totally the easy part.

And it doesn’t even bother me that all of my author friends finished their novels over quarantine. Writing is a delicate process and they obviously rushed it. So who cares if they’re all getting compliments from people and film adaption deals and making money. Although it would be nice to have something to show from the past year. The publishing process itself is pretty long, and I have been working on this stupid book since 2006. But not too much! Rome wasn’t built in a year or whatever.

Today is the day I finally commit to starting this novel! I’ll start when Quarantine is fully over. I’ve got like, family stuff today.