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2021 Is the Year I Finally Gnaw My Leg off and Escape This Basement

I’m hardly alone in saying that 2020 was a less-than-stellar year. Instead of letting disappointment get the better of me, I’m more motivated than ever to make some positive changes in my life for 2021. That’s why this year I’ve decided to finally gnaw my leg off and escape this basement.

Call it my new year’s resolution. I know, I know. I say this every year. But I’m gonna stick to it this time. No more lightly gumming my leg for three weeks, giving up, and going back to slacking off. That only leads to another mediocre year.

Personal growth is all about commitment. You can’t half-ass it. If I don’t push myself to keep chewing through my favorite femur, I know that I’ll sink back into my same ol’ routine. Sure, sometimes I’ll hit a rough patch and get lost thinking about the times when I wasn’t chained to this particular radiator. But regret is the death progress and 2021 is going to be my year. No chains, deadbolted basement doors, or broken resolutions are going to stop me from chewing through a fistful of tendons and hopping my way to the new me.

Come join me in ringing in the new year and absolutely crushing our 2021 goals. Maybe you’re looking to drop a few pounds or, like me, you bought a futon from the wrong person and haven’t seen the sun in a year. Heck, if it’s both I’ve got a great way to kill to birds with one set of decaying teeth! Two legs or one, I’m just looking forward to escaping this basement so things can go back to normal.