Every Dio Album Ranked Worst to Best July 24, 2023 The origins of Dio can be traced back to of all things a mixing disagreement for a live album. Band… Read More →
Every Morphine Album Ranked June 19, 2023 The “power trio” has existed forever, but no one did it like Morphine. Led by fretless two-string bass maestro Mark… Read More →
Instagram Sex Bot Genuinely Interested In Band’s Music May 28, 2023 CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat… Read More →
Every The Breeders Album Ranked May 24, 2023 Few good things have come from the irradiated wastes of Ohio. It’s an unforgiving realm of demons, bloodthirsty mutants, and… Read More →
10 R.E.M. Songs to Have On While Shopping at Whole Foods May 9, 2023 No trip to Whole Foods is complete without a playlist filled with R.E.M. songs. Georgia’s jangle-pop troubadours have entertained the… Read More →
Fender Recalls New Guitar That Moans While Being Tuned March 4, 2023 SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Fender recalled a new line of guitars and basses that moan, grunt and scream while being tuned… Read More →
My Band Hired the Wrong Kind of Engineer but Now Our Bridges Are Structurally Sound January 14, 2023 Choosing the wrong engineer for your album might ruin your music. My band, Butt Age, found that out the hard… Read More →
Guitar Center Employee Cuts Fresh Strap From Rotating Spit December 26, 2022 CHICAGO — Local Guitar Center employee Bridget Wolf carefully cut a fresh guitar strap from a rotating spit before serving… Read More →
How To Stay Anxiety-Free Even Though That Fan Above Your Bed Is Wobbly as Fuck November 9, 2022 It’s hard to stay anxiety-free in our crazy world. Whether it’s the newest national tragedy, workplace havoc, or trouble at… Read More →
Lovesick Goth Looks Longingly At Pair Of Crows Eating Spilled Funyuns August 6, 2022 MINNEAPOLIS — Local goth Matilda Flowers spent the afternoon wistfully staring at a pair of crows eating a pile of… Read More →