So you’re watching “Forrest Gump” get dropped into the jungles of Vietnam, and you find yourself asking “Was this war good… or bad?” Before you have the chance to arrive at any conclusions on your own, the opening notes of “Fortunate Son” kick in and lay all ambiguity to rest: in this war, the less affluent are sent to die, and that’s bad. You’re awash with the relief of being told how to feel, and you get to enjoy a tune by your favorite band Creedence Clearwater Revival.
But wait- you’ve never heard of CCR before? This film is your first exposure to the thick bayou drawl of Bay Area native John Fogerty? Well, we could give you a bunch of shit for not knowing your rock ‘n’ roll history, but instead we’ll tell on ourselves too. Here’s a comprehensive list of times we discovered bands because of a popular movie.
10. Dropkick Murphys, “The Departed”
For how much he loves needle drops, it’s surprising that the Dropkick Murphys’ “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” is the only sea shanty Scorcese ever put in a movie. The accordion has never sounded quite as hard as it does accompanying a surly Dicaprio on his mission to infiltrate the Boston mob; and if you walked out of the theater wondering if your new favorite band has any more songs about Boston, good news: they pretty much only do.
9. Elliott Smith, “Good Will Hunting”
Speaking of Bean Town, it was only logical that when director Gus Van Sant heard the intimate, whispered vocals of Portland-based singer/songwriter Elliott Smith, he said to himself “These songs sound like they’re about a secretly genius janitor who works at MIT.” The “Good Will Hunting” soundtrack featured six fucking songs by Smith, making it no longer just music for you to cry alone to. It’s also music you can get your ass beat by a Sox fan to.
8. Weezer, “Mallrats”
Hey grandkids, did you know Weezer didn’t used to be dogshit? You did if you saw 1995’s “Mallrats.” At the end of the movie, Jay and Silent Bob team up with an Orangutan named Suzanne, and the trio walk off into the sunset to a Weezer b-side, aptly titled “Susanne” (OK, different spelling but it still works). The beloved ‘90s icons of Jay, Silent Bob, and Weezer all continue to crank out worse and worse content to this day, while the orangutan who played Susanne retired from acting and lives in a great ape sanctuary- a place remote enough that no new Weezer albums or Kevin Smith films can harm her.
7. Lou Reed, “Trainspotting”
Thank god for Lou Reed and Danny Boyle, who delivered such gripping depictions of heroin addiction that we didn’t have to try it ourselves. Watching the overdosing Rent Boy sink into a carpet over the melancholic monotone of “Perfect Day” gave us the gist: this drug is so good that it’ll kill ya’. And it turned out Reed had a pretty cool band before he went solo, too.
6. Wings, “Licorice Pizza”
“Trainspotting” may ask us “Who needs reasons when you have heroin,” but Paul McCartney asks us “Who needs heroin when you have herbal jazz cigarettes, man?” Although primarily known for being the dorkiest Beatle not named Ringo, Sir Paul was also in a band called Wings, and Paul Thomas Anderson turned us all onto them by including their doob-raising anthem “Let Me Roll It” in his coming-of-age comedy “Licorice Pizza.”
5. Buzzcocks, “Ghost World”
Enid Coleslaw speaks to all of us who have tried to go punk and failed. In the Gen-X love letter/send-up “Ghost World,” we watch Enid dye her hair green while blasting “What Do I Get?” by 1970s Brit-punkers the Buzzcocks, only to be ridiculed by her friends and told that punk is over. Punk may be over, but being a poser will never die.
4. Generation X, “SLC Punk!”
Another ode to poserdom, “SLC Punk!” gave us a lot of bands we can pretend we liked before they were big. The use of “Kiss Me Deadly” by Billy Idol’s original group Generation X is especially memorable: it’s played in the film’s climatic flashback as we watch younger versions of the SLC punks throw their Rush tapes away for something more edgy, aggressive, and above all, “new.” If only they’d known they were allowed to like punk rock and D&D, maybe Heroin Bob would still be alive.
3. Dead Kennedys, “Green Room”
Unfortunately where punks breed, there sometimes appears the human pond scum of Nazi punks; who, it cannot be said enough, need to fuck off. In the garageband slasher “Green Room,” a touring band finds themselves booked in a skinhead bar, and let the racists have it with a rousing rendition of the Dead Kennedys succinctly titled “Nazi Punks Fuck Off.” The band pays for the insult dearly in a brutal battle royale with white supremacists, but hey, at least they went out fighting nazis. The only downside to getting into DK is that you now have to pretend to like Jello Biafra’s spoken-word albums too.
2. Rage Against the Machine, “The Matrix”
“What if we were all living in a simulation, bro? Do you ever think about that? What if we’re all, like, human batteries? Doesn’t that trip you out??” These are just some of the deep questions raised by “The Matrix,” which also introduced dudes in Jeeps across the country to the Rage Against the Machine banger called “Wake Up.” Even though concepts like taking the red pill and rapping over rock music have been sullied by losers like Elon Musk and Fred Durst, it’s nice to recall a more innocent time when rebellion belonged to the good guys.
1. Smash Mouth, “Shrek”
…Innocent times like the Spring of 2001! A time when America had not yet been gripped by the jingoistic bloodlust that followed 9/11, when Tom Cruise was newly single and hadn’t broken any couches, and when the world was about to meet a grumpy old ogre who was a bit lacking in the manners department— but enough about Smash Mouth lead singer Steve Harwell! “Shrek” fever coursed through our piggy veins, and “All Star” coursed through our first-generation Ipods. Eventually, “Shrek” went on to spawn an entire film franchise, and Smash Mouth went on to host several superspreader events during the deadly COVID-19 pandemic. But those of us who first heard them at the movies got the best of the band, skipping over their ska-rock roots and getting straight to “All Star”- a song everyone loves to perform at karaoke that no one ever wants to hear performed at karaoke again.
Well, you see…It’s a Pixies album that was released in two thousand twenty-two. Though they put up a valiant effort, and it’s certainly nice to see that the ol’ gang is still able to crank out a serviceable song or two, it’s just not up to snuff. We’re a long way from “Doolittle,” folks, and “Doggerel” lets you know it. Capturing that original Pixies magic is kind of like catching that dang roadrunner, it’s never going to happen and that’s okay.
Hmmm, think positives, think positives…Oh! One thing we like about this album is it’s one of the only record titles we can think of that could ALSO be the name of a new Garbage Pail Kid. Guitarist Joey Santiago shines with a great riff here and there, but this works best as background noise. Put it on while you refinish the bathroom, you won’t be missing anything.
Look, the fact is: any albums the Pixies released post- Kim Deal are justifiably held to a different standard. So, that being said, “Beneath the Eyrie,” as a Deal-less effort, goes in a lot of fun, sonic directions and is overall enjoyable. I realize I’m doing the Liz Lemon thing where she compliments Jenna’s play’s program font, and I’m alright with that. Drummer David Lovering is a magician in his off-time, and I don’t want to cross anyone that could make me disappear at a moment’s notice.
We like “Head Carrier,” and even considered ranking it up in the midst of the golden-age releases just to ruffle some feathers in the comments. But, let’s face it, our fans don’t need any extra prodding to do that, so here it will stay. It’s a bit more heavy on the pretty melodies, and light on the ferocity we know Black Francis is capable of (he even penned a pseudo-apology song to Kim Deal with “All I Think About Is Now.” What a sweetie!) but we’ll allow it. We may be The Hard Times, but we can also be the soft hearts.
The first appearance of Kim Deal in this ranking, yahoo! Well, hold on a second…She’s in here somewhere, but unfortunately you couldn’t tell from “Trompe Le Monde’s” mixing! Maybe play with one of The Breeders’ albums simultaneously to get the full, classic Pixies experience. Aside from that, you’ve got Pixies in the autumn of their glory days with this one. It’s a hell of an album, despite or perhaps DUE to the fact that it verges into “circus music” territory more than once.
Technically not an LP, but a “Mini-LP” so we are going to include this as a bonus for all you Pix-heads out there. The Pixies’ maiden voyage was culled down from a 17-song demo, separating the wheat from the chaff (although, this is early Pixies so you KNOW that chaff must have been pretty good too.) Everything’s in place right from the get-go: Santiago’s twang, Lovering’s cocksure time-keeping and Francis & Deal’s intertwining vocals which will never be taken away from us as far as we, in 1987, know!
Ooo, baby, we’re deeeeep into the good stuff now! “Bossanova” may not be everyone’s third choice, but we think it rips. Chock full of what music scholars will henceforth call “Kids In the Hall-Core” riffs that would have Man or Astroman? frantically calling mission control. In contrast to its title, “Bossanova” rocks the hardest of any Pixies offering, and if we were going on pure adrenaline and energy, it could easily take the number one spot. But alas, “Surfer Rosa” and “Doolittle” exist.
A slab of wall-to-wall bangers that could very well have been #1 if the coin flip landed differently (we take our rankings VERY seriously.) Featuring Steve Albini’s iconic production that launched a thousand alt-rock ships, this record’s the red carpet, and every song on it is a star walking it. “Bone Machine”, “Gigantic”, “Cactus”…the list goes on and on. You can even picture Kurt Cobain as Salieri, listening to this like a Mozart symphony, and weeping out of a combination of joy AND sadness. Don’t worry Kurt, you’ll get yours.
Duh-little. This album has it all. Honestly, you could just listen to “Debaser” and call it a day and it would still be a masterpiece. This is the album that cool older siblings should have been required by law to pass down to their younger brothers or sisters in order to make sure they were put on a good music trajectory. There is still time to act Congress, get off your asses and pass some common-sense Pixies legislation.
