OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like a moron without using alcohol…
PHOENIX — Local punk and licensed therapist Dr. Tim “Roach” Rochestky, LPCC, suggested that a patient kick his square fuckhead of a dad off his…
BOSTON — A report from the Berklee College of Music showed that half of the attendees at a recent Placebo show only thought they were…
LONDON — World-famous primatologist Dame Jane Goodall announced today that, after 60 years of studying chimpanzees in their native habitat, she has found that broiling…
NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has revealed that the most played video game of the COVID-19 pandemic is the pornographic ‘Try…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has found that ingesting cannabis improves whatever you need to hear to make you feel better…
We all want the best for our children, and in an increasingly competitive world that presents challenges. In the information age technology is evolving faster…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Undercover journalist Teddy Eckart just needs to spend another two or three years investigating a lascivius and highly erotic sex cult in…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A study completed last week at the University of California-Davis found that the next song “…goes a little something like this,” researchers…
WORCESTER, Mass. — A grant application submitted by the University of Massachusetts Medical School for “the expressed intent of further gaining understanding in what the…
BOSTON — A new study conducted by the Berklee College of Music has found that one in five jazz cats are now “going hog wild”…
AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas released a study today proving that indie-rock band Gypsy Casino’s attempt to create a “quality, experimental…
BOSTON — A new report out of the New England Conservatory of Music suggests that classic rock band Boston’s hit song “More Than A Feeling”…
PHILADELPHIA — A new study from the University of Pennsylvania revealed that the findings from their last study could not be more undeniably wrong. “We…