CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – Scientists at the Kalvi Institute for Astrophysics and Space Research recently made an unexpected discovery: a Mazzy Star song that wasn’t the…
BROOK, Ind. – Research conducted at one of the nation’s largest landfill facilities showed that discarded Blues Traveler “Four” CDs make up over 70% of…
DETROIT – Local skeptic and conspiracy theorist Todd Griffin went on a multi-platform social media tirade and declared he has had enough with biased media…
CHICAGO — A report recently issued by the Library of Congress has stated that this right here is the good part of the song, shut…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — 45-year-old salon owner Jessica Hunter slashed her laptop with barber shears in response to an “adult contemporary” playlist recommendation given to her…
Despite a lack of scientific evidence, the flat earth movement has gained a lot of new followers due to the advent of the internet and…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans that was recently excavated from…
WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed by a falling piano,” while…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like a moron without using alcohol…
PHOENIX — Local punk and licensed therapist Dr. Tim “Roach” Rochestky, LPCC, suggested that a patient kick his square fuckhead of a dad off his…
BOSTON — A report from the Berklee College of Music showed that half of the attendees at a recent Placebo show only thought they were…
LONDON — World-famous primatologist Dame Jane Goodall announced today that, after 60 years of studying chimpanzees in their native habitat, she has found that broiling…
NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has revealed that the most played video game of the COVID-19 pandemic is the pornographic ‘Try…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has found that ingesting cannabis improves whatever you need to hear to make you feel better…