Let’s face it, getting older brings a new series of challenges when it comes to getting totally fucked up. Higher tolerance, harsher hangovers, coworkers who…
There comes a point, typically in one’s late-twenties or early-thirties, when going out to bars every night and getting hammered just isn’t fun anymore. The…
MILTON-FREEWATER, Ore. — Chaos erupted after a Ween drive-in show late last night, as every single showgoer tried to find somebody still capable of safely…
Friend Celebrating Birthday at Home in Quarantine Still Manages to Start Drunken Fight and Lose Shoe
Friend Celebrating Birthday at Home in Quarantine Still Manages to Start Drunken Fight and Lose Shoe
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a drunken fight and lose her…
Negative self-talk is a dangerous cycle. Our thoughts affect our actions so when all our thoughts are negative, it can lead to destructive choices. For…
ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Quarantined father Chris Denny is struggling with his son’s 33-piece jigsaw puzzle after drinking almost an entire 12-pack of beer by himself,…
PHILADELPHIA — St. Patrick’s Day revelers at Rocco’s Lounge realized moments ago that the green beer they’re drinking is not a holiday gimmick, visibly unwell…
FITCHBURG, Mass. — 32-year-old hardcore kid Justin Phillips is driving the “snakes” out of his local scene just as the original Saint Patrick did hundreds…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local punk Gary Trentson is recycling his New Year’s resolution for Lent this year after failing miserably on his initial attempt back…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Perpetually pie-eyed local man Dominic “Mitch” Wozinski was invited last night by expectant parents Christine and Sam Pinner to unwittingly test…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Friends of Terence Hart report today that his knack for ruining parties with his alcoholism has transitioned into ruining parties with his…
BOSTON — A landmark study by a rowdy crew of sloshed scientists at the Harvard School of Drunk Studies have found a definitive link between…
Recently, we here at The Hard Times have been going through some pretty… well, hard times. Fortunately, the bartender at our favorite speakeasy, The Crusty…
CHICAGO — Your friend from out of town is gearing up for a real whirlwind of activities this weekend, and emailed earlier today to let…
DANVERS, Mass. — A straight edge Ouija board steadfastly refused to indulge in a midnight seance Saturday night, directly defying slurred demands and supplications from…