NEW YORK — Bartender Chad Gallo reached out to ex-girlfriend Ashley Thomas last Monday with a text reading “U up?” at around 3 p.m., multiple…
I am fall-down drunk right now. For real. I have literally fallen down and I am presently lying on the floor of this bar. But…
NEW YORK — Local man Adam Lefler is increasingly nervous to check his 194 notifications on Facebook this morning after waking up extremely hungover, the…
CHICAGO — NetherRealm Studios announced today that the next DLC character in the Mortal Kombat franchise will be Drunk Father. Sources close to the company…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — UF sophomore Michelle Stevens claims to have fast traveled to her dorm room after downing a bottle of “Se Tiene Especial” Tequila,…
MERRICK, N.Y. — Seminal emo/indie rockers Brand New are hard at work writing the soundtrack of your drunken, late-night phone call to your high school…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — A punk house venue played host to an unwelcome and unnecessary question-and-answer session for local woman Johanna Hunwick last night, after “wicked shitfaced”…
WALNUT CREEK, Calif. — Local white guy Randy Murphy brought unexpected tension and horror to O’Malley’s Bar & Grill late last week when he —…
DECATUR, Ala. — Punk traveler Luis Ortiz was subject to an increasing amount of unfortunate events while exploring the country by boxcar during a recent…
PORTLAND, OR – Fans attending the record release party for local metal band Failsafe were repeatedly caught off guard by the random cheering of a…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. – A local house party reportedly turned sour last night, as local man Seth Needham spent the entire night drunkenly slurring apologies for…
SAN FRANCISCO – Sobering news out of the punk world this week, as NOFX frontman Fat Mike announced he has suffered acute fake liver failure after…
BOSTON – Witnesses report Boston police broke up a show at an Allston house venue known as “Our Haus” last night after Carrie Berg, the venue’s resident…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. – For the fifth time tonight, all four members of the punk band Junkyard Gods made up an excuse to walk from the alcohol-free venue/pizzeria…
PITTSBURGH, Penn. — According to witnesses at last night’s weekly metal showcase at The Clink, one man would not “shut his stupid goddamn mouth for…