Punk concerts are about chaos and anarchy. But, that rebellious spirit doesn’t change the fact that there’s only one reasonable place to stand during a…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local vending machine technician Jeremy Powell realized while looking through old photographs that “in the smoking section at the Denny’s on Delaware…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Brian Hedges figured he’s still got a good 10 years to continually disappoint his parents with his life choices, his friends,…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local punk Abigail Burton was forced to confront the ways her listening habits reflect her deeply pathetic personal life after a white…
SALT LAKE CITY – A long-forgotten, years-old container of Great Value black pepper was recently unearthed in the pantry of a two-bedroom apartment, pleasantly surprised…
Back in high school, Chris was the ultimate punk. When you walked those halls between bio and history class and saw his huge hairdo bobbing…
CHICAGO — Aging goth Ashe Montresor is barely managing to push through their daily 170-minute ritual of applying the appropriate makeup to make them look…
Oiright, oiright, oiright. You know what I love about the local scene? Every four years it completely refreshes. Kids graduate from high school and move…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — 37-year-old punk Ronald “Buckets” Drearer grossly exaggerated how much alcohol he regularly consumes in order to seem cooler during a recent…
There are so many things to hate about this entitled millennial generation, but nothing scorches my sky more than their addiction to technology. These ungrateful…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A punk mom put pressure on her happily married 36-year-old daughter to get divorced before it’s too late, sources close to…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — 45-year-old salon owner Jessica Hunter slashed her laptop with barber shears in response to an “adult contemporary” playlist recommendation given to her…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local activist and aging vegan Victor Gonzalez expressed his disappointment that the new generation of vegans have no interest in brutal videos…
What the fuck? How did I not get one double-take when I walked in here? What the hell happened to this scene? Okay, sure, maybe…
CHICAGO — Local nonagenarian Horace Miles finally settled on a design for what he would like his first tattoo to be after mulling it over…