Being a musician isn’t as glamorous as Hollywood will have you believe. It’s not all overnight success and invulnerability to lethal amounts of cocaine. You…
The place: Los Angeles. The year: 2029. Humanity has all but failed to stop Skynet and its legion of Terminators from laying waste to the…
Selling out is a move as old as music itself. Most rock stars who decide to cash in on their fleeting fame by sacrificing total…
Of all the ills plaguing Americans today, from historic drought and skyrocketing homelessness to the ongoing and totally uncontested presence of concentration camps at the…
Let’s face it. Complaining online about new Weezer material is just part of the human experience. It usually occurs between early and middle adulthood, according…
Well, this was one hell of a barbecue friend, but if you don’t mind helping me find my keys, I’ve got a babysitting gig to…
Alright, now. Listen to me. You all know me, or at least, you know my reputation. You know how I make my living. This man…
We Look Back at All of Our Past Failures Because We Just Spilled a Full Beer Goddammit What the Fuck
It’s been a good thirty-odd years of screw-ups, so now seems like as good a time as any to review them in inscrutable detail because…
Studies show pets often take on the characteristics and habits of their owners. Okay, well if that’s true, then my cat Fruit Punch should appreciate…
Everybody just be cool, okay?! The doors are locked and chained from the outside, and nobody is leaving this blackbox venue until you all get…
As a Capricorn, there are few things I can’t stand as much as Libras. They are emotionally detached, self-pitying pacifists. The stars have chosen to…
Despite being a major campaign promise, student debt cancellation of any kind was noticeably absent from President Biden’s recently proposed $6 trillion national budget. The…