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I Seriously Doubt All of These Bathroom Graffiti Artists Fucked My Mom

Alright, now I’m starting to get skeptical. I went in here to take a piss during this Battle of the Bands and, while the facilities were surprisingly adequate, I’m now faced with some of the most ridiculous claims I’ve ever read! Seriously, how am I supposed to believe each and every one of these bathroom graffiti artists fucked my mom? That just doesn’t sound like her.

Seriously? All of them??? I can see her banging the first one. He had great penmanship, which was something my mother found very important as I recall. But all 37?! Highly unlikely.

Okay, well let’s at least do the math. She was with my dad from the dawn of time until their divorce in 2016. And, sure, Mom said she was a bit of a free spirit upon discovering online dating after her divorce, but I seriously doubt all these men got to know Janice intimately enough to actually make it to the bedroom. I’m brimming with doubt. Hell, the phone number they have up there isn’t even hers. Silver lining, at least they collectively agree she’s a “good time.”

Perhaps there is foul play afoot. I mean, “I fucked your mom last night” and “Your mom came over last night” are nearly identical, which indicates that perhaps a copycat was at work here. “Tell ur mom I said hi.” Psh. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that in a truck stop in Virginia, though the graffiti in that bathroom did make some compelling points about my sexuality.