Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

November 22, 2021

HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D…

October 30, 2021

WESTFIELD, Ind. — Local man Tom Simmons remains totally perplexed as to why everyone who watched “Squid Game” found the…

October 27, 2021

ELDERSBURG, Md. — The appeal of joining a "throuple” for local woman Denise Hubbard was completely obliterated by prospective partners…

October 18, 2021

PHOENIX — The musical comedy duo of Mitch Warner and Danny Morales, tentatively named “Sax and Violins” or possibly “Fingering…

October 16, 2021

While they may have been intended for children, that didn’t stop these movies from veering into nightmare fuel. Here are…

September 5, 2021

The September 11th attacks changed everything - including many films and TV shows from the early 2000s. Here are 15…

August 10, 2021

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A normally violent, freewheeling circle pit at a recent all-ages show suddenly transitioned into a tranquil,…

August 3, 2021

MILWAUKEE — Delusional local man Rick Crawford is convinced coworker Mary Schneider’s barely-concealed hostility toward him is all part of…

August 1, 2021

BRANAU AM INN, Austria — Conservative podcaster and chrononaut Arlo Sanderson travelled back in time to protest the assassination of…

July 27, 2021

As a man, I’ve never really given much thought to catcalling. I was always empathetic to women harassed by men,…