Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

April 30, 2022

TUCKER, Ga. — Local musician Mark Shepherd vowed to master his new favorite song on guitar so long as it’s…

April 3, 2022

WASHINGTON — Average consumers are feeling the pinch both metaphorically and literally as rising gas prices have resulted in them…

March 15, 2022

SMYRNA, Tenn. — Local toddler Lana Findlay was forced once again to play the parent and comfort her hysterical mom…

January 26, 2022

LOS ANGELES — An ominous and plentiful crest of white smoke poured out of podcaster and “Jackass” star Steve-O’s thoroughly…

January 19, 2022

LOS ANGELES — A new film titled “Great Again” featuring famed director Clint Eastwood reciting and acting out boomer memes…

December 26, 2021

COLLINGSWOOD, N.J. — A local gang of librarians are accused of assaulting homeowner Jessica Wheatley over the installation of a…

December 13, 2021

SUN VALLEY, Nev. — Local man and occasional masturbator Harrison Weber was disgraced after receiving his “2021 Pornhub Wrapped” late…

December 11, 2021

SALISBURY, Md. — Jim Perdue, the reclusive and quirky chairman of Perdue Farms, hid five golden tickets to tour his…

December 11, 2021

MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he…

November 22, 2021

HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D…