Texas Punk Using Gov. Abbott Migrant Bus for Free Trip to New York City
SAN ANTONIO — Local punk Issah Rooney is taking advantage of Governor Abbott’s cruel and inhumane policy of busing migrants…
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Patrick Coyne — Page 6
376 stories found
Marvel Fan Outraged after Jean-Luc Godard’s Obituary Features Zero Post Credit Scenes
RIO RANCHO, N.M. — Self-proclaimed Marvel mega fan Devin Hume was shocked and outraged after seeing legendary filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard’s…
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Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Marilyn Manson, and Gene Simmons Release Album as Newly Formed Supervillain Group
LOS ANGELES - Nefarious rockstars Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Marilyn Manson, and Gene Simmons combined forces to become the world’s…
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Peanuts Gang Finally Call Child Protective Services on Pigpen’s Parents
HENNEPIN COUNTY, Minn. — The largely unsupervised Peanuts gang has finally called Child Protective Services on the parents of their…
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Inconsiderate Man Burdens Friend With Free Concert Tickets
INDIANAPOLIS — Local asshole Brodie Mccaffery had the audacity to burden his work friend Dianne Lin with 100% free, no…
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California Roommates Ration Water to Avoid Having to Be One to Refill Brita
WHITTIER, Calif. — Three roommates in southern California enacted extreme water rationing measures to avoid being the one having to…
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Disney Adult to be Tried as a Minor
ORLANDO, Fla. — Disney-obsessed middle-aged man Sebastian Werner is to be tried as a minor after allegedly assaulting several guests…
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Cool Boss Makes Up for No Bonuses This Year with Cameo Video from Scott Stapp
SOMERSET, Mass. — Local cool boss Kirk Rayner chose a Cameo video from Creed singer Scott Stapp to inform his…
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Band Really Riding Line Between Being on Tour and Being Homeless
INDIANAPOLIS — Allegedly touring pop punk band Deaf Hippos is really blurring the line between actively playing shows outside their…
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Conservative Boycotting Disney Now Will Only Visit Park 14 Times a Year
BEATRICE, Neb. — Staunch conservative Todd Anderson vowed to limit his annual Disney World trips to slightly more than a…
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