SUN VALLEY, Nev. — Local man and occasional masturbator Harrison Weber was disgraced after receiving his “2021 Pornhub Wrapped” late yesterday morning, which outlined all…
SALISBURY, Md. — Jim Perdue, the reclusive and quirky chairman of Perdue Farms, hid five golden tickets to tour his slaughterhouse in random chicken breasts…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D printer, frustrated familial sources confirmed.…
WESTFIELD, Ind. — Local man Tom Simmons remains totally perplexed as to why everyone who watched “Squid Game” found the idea of getting shot at…
ELDERSBURG, Md. — The appeal of joining a “throuple” for local woman Denise Hubbard was completely obliterated by prospective partners Micah Herrera and Lorenzo Cummings’…
PHOENIX — The musical comedy duo of Mitch Warner and Danny Morales, tentatively named “Sax and Violins” or possibly “Fingering A Minor,” are bitterly fighting…
While they may have been intended for children, that didn’t stop these movies from veering into nightmare fuel. Here are 13 surprisingly dark moments in…
The September 11th attacks changed everything – including many films and TV shows from the early 2000s. Here are 15 that were altered as a…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A normally violent, freewheeling circle pit at a recent all-ages show suddenly transitioned into a tranquil, toxin-eliminating massage train that encompassed…
MILWAUKEE — Delusional local man Rick Crawford is convinced coworker Mary Schneider’s barely-concealed hostility toward him is all part of an elaborate inside joke between…
BRANAU AM INN, Austria — Conservative podcaster and chrononaut Arlo Sanderson travelled back in time to protest the assassination of an unborn Adolf Hitler, insisting…
As a man, I’ve never really given much thought to catcalling. I was always empathetic to women harassed by men, but I suppose I never…
NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just a few flimsy strands of…
First of all, stop being such a pussy, dude. It’s just a handgun. And a glock at that! No one ever is killed by just…