DETROIT – Local band Affirmation Rising revealed that their traditional pre-show huddle mainly consists of prayers that serious allegations about them don’t come out, confirmed…
Before I started practicing meditation, the stresses of the world got to me. The global pandemic, crippling inflation, and of course the repercussions of my…
LONDON – Prince Andrew, Duke of York, is reportedly pestering the entire staff of Buckingham Palace to ask if his mother’s royal funeral will be…
ST. LOUIS – College freshmen, Keegan Smith and Caleb Kyle, are locked in a bitter argument over sharing the wall space for their identical Bob…
OTTAWA — A recent study revealed that over 11 million Canadians, or roughly 30% of the country’s population, have Broken Social Scene DNA. “We discovered…
No discussion of Britpop is complete without mentioning the brash Mancunian brothers of Oasis and the two things they were best known for: pop-rock anthems…
There are some things in this world that truly stand the test of time. The Pyramids of Giza, Machu Picchu, the sad Keanu meme. Well,…
SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Self-proclaimed feminist ally Kale Weston remains commited to fighting against the Supreme Court’s recent decision to overturn Roe v. Wade for as…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – Local crisis actor Alex Perkins expressed his desire to burst out from his creative cocoon and start directing false flag conspiracies, confirmed…
PENSACOLA, Fla. – Local dentist Noah Dunaway expressed utter disgust recently after examining what long-time punk patient Skyler Thompson kept referring to as his “good”…
They say you get what you pay for. That’s why I was expecting a top-notch legal defense after hiring my lawyer who came highly recommended…
There’s nothing like getting up early on a Saturday and heading over to this Farmer’s Market that I’ve always supported. But if these vendors expect…
All I’ve heard my entire life is that alcohol is bad for my body, it’s destroying my insides, it’s gonna send me to an early…
TOLEDO, Ohio. – Local goth office worker Todd Schmidt admitted privately that he is secretly craving a slice of the delicious Funfetti birthday cake that’s…
Man, I wish these students knew how cool I used to be! It’s no secret that they don’t give two shits about me or this…