Dad Waiting for Lull at Christmas Dinner to Rant About Woke Mind Virus
AUBURN, N.Y. – Local dad and notorious shit disturber Walter Morris patiently waited for a lull during his family’s lovely…
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Doug Kolic — Page 6
110 stories found
Identical Punk Twins Intuitively Sense When Other One Jonesing for Smoke
MILWAUKEE – Identical punk twins Ryan and Bryan Ohland recently revealed their ability to sense when the other is jonesing…
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Local Police Department’s Secret Santa Gift Exchange Entirely Made up of Punisher Merch
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — The annual holiday gift exchange at Clarkson Valley Police Department consisted entirely of Punisher items for…
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Trauma Dump? This Judge Keeps Complaining About All the Shit I Allegedly Did
If the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that life is precious and we need to protect our…
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Las Vegas Tourists Checking Out Futuristic Sphere Tricked Into Listening to U2
LAS VEGAS — Tourists recently visiting the Sphere attraction in Las Vegas expressed their displeasure with being tricked into listening…
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Opinion: Your House Isn’t Haunted, It’s Just a Piece of Shit
Well, that concludes our paranormal investigation of your turn-of-the-century Victorian farmhouse. After using numerous spirit-locating devices and other elaborate ghost-searching…
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Bassist Left in Hot Car for 8 Hours Drawing More of a Crowd Than When He Performs
PLANO, Texas — Local bassist Keegan Rizzo recently drew his biggest crowd yet after being locked inside of his band’s…
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Punk Pied Piper Marches Army of Rats Right Back Into Town
HAMELIN, Germany — Local residents awoke to the horrifying sight of thousands of filthy rats being led back into the…
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Garbage Truck Driving Behind Punk Band’s Tour Van Can’t Believe the Stench
PATERSON, N.J. — Local garbage collector Vince LePaglia couldn’t believe the putrid stench emanating from the tour van of punk…
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We Revisit That Sick Burn We Had on That Kid in Grade School Because We Really Need This
I love reminiscing about the good old days. Like in fifth grade, when I totally dunked on Owen Krevsky when…
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