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Coming on Too Strong? This Waitress Just Asked if I Wanted a Drink

I guess it’s asking too much to have a nice quiet meal with my family at this restaurant without being hit on every second. Why can’t this waitress, who’s totally my type, just do her damn job without trying to get into my pants? Lady, you’re coming on way too strong and, no, you can’t buy me a drink. But, yes, we would like to hear tonight’s specials.

Maybe it’s my fault for being an irresistible alpha who’s deep into crypto, but it’s stuff like this that gets me in the doghouse with my wife. She’s always accusing me of flirting and cheating on her with dozens of women over the years, causing her to “have trust issues” and wonder if “marrying me was the single worst decision of her life.” So I’m glad she’s here to see for herself how chicks are always trying to set me up with their incessant sexual advances.

Wow, now the server wants to know how I’d like my steak. That’s a bit personal and quite frankly crossing the line. She might as well just come out and ask me how big my penis is because it’s obvious that’s what she really wants to know.

I gotta get give this hot-to-trot seductress something to get her off my back. For the sake of my family maybe I’ll just show her a dick pic on my phone. If that doesn’t work I’m definitely going to have a word with that female manager over there, who’s also pretty hot.

To be honest I’ve lost my appetite. I’m just going to avoid eye contact, pay, and go home. But of course, now she’s drawn a cute little happy face on the bill which is a clear sign she intends to stalk me for as long as it takes to get me into bed. But if that’s what it takes to end this nightmare, I better just nut up and show my kids what a real man does for his family.