BILLINGS, Mont. — Former music obsessive Paul Yarborough finally achieved bodily immunity to the intoxicating effects of new music following years of detachment and apathy,…
LOS ANGELES — Local man and self-described “music aficionado” Alex King once again paid $15 for access to a music streaming subscription despite only listening…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local man Johnny Jarvis had to check Spotify to confirm he was actually enjoying the song he found himself bobbing his head…
You probably haven’t heard of Theodore Ignatius Fitzwilliam Youngblood. But if you’re one of the world’s 400,000,000 Spotify users, you may have him to “thank.”…
NEWPORT, R.I. — Local hardcore kid Luke Tappe finally unveiled his 2021 Spotify wrapped after consuming countless YouTube tutorials and graduating from an eight-week Photoshop…
Spotify abuses musicians in myriad ways. Underpaying artists, devaluing music, and gatekeeping playlists are only some of the ways the streaming giant keeps musicians in…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Local musician Charlie Clarke is reportedly threatening to join the growing boycott of Spotify and stop using the account that linked to…
NEW YORK — An air of mystery and excitement pervaded CEO Daniel Ek’s office as he was delivered a gift basket of elk meat and…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary folk rock musician David Crosby has inexplicably demanded in an open letter released this morning that streaming giant Spotify choose between…
MASSAPEQUA, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed “experimental indie” band True Friction are horrified to see that their “Related Artists” tab on Spotify is populated by pop-punk and…
SUN VALLEY, Nev. — Local man and occasional masturbator Harrison Weber was disgraced after receiving his “2021 Pornhub Wrapped” late yesterday morning, which outlined all…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local punk Abigail Burton was forced to confront the ways her listening habits reflect her deeply pathetic personal life after a white…
MILWAUKEE — Local music listener and person with periods Megan Blake prefers to use her Spotify listening history to track her menstrual cycle rather than…
LOS ANGELES — A seemingly innocuous Spotify pop-punk playlist was ordered by a judge at the Los Angeles superior court to stay at least 100…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — 45-year-old salon owner Jessica Hunter slashed her laptop with barber shears in response to an “adult contemporary” playlist recommendation given to her…