BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local Vampire Weekend fan Archie Poole felt betrayed, confused, and saddened this week after hearing the music of his so-called “favorite band”…
SEATTLE — Longtime Sunn O))) guitarist Stephen O’Malley stunned fans when he revealed the band’s name has had a glaring typo since their inception in…
SCOTCH PLAINS, N.J. — Local software engineer and Faith No More superfan Duane Morsman left his residence this morning wearing a Faith No More t-shirt…
LONG BEACH, Calif. — Metalcore band Her Empty Lungs have yet to replicate the success of their Lady Gaga “Poker Face” cover included on a…
NEW YORK — Progressive post-hardcore band Ganymede’s Gates reportedly realized moments ago that the entirety of their fanbase are “uncool nerds” whom they would never…
NEW YORK — Fans of indie rock legends The Strokes collectively agreed that the boring nature of the band’s newest album “The New Abnormal” from…
BALTIMORE — Influential powerviolence band ElevenTimesElevenCrimes announced today that expensive car repairs, alimony payments, and a misguided Playstation 4 purchase has made them collectively broke…
CHICAGO — Singer-songwriter Kyla Bernhardt learned today just how much her fans have failed to successfully parse the artistic intent behind her songs and many…
NEW YORK — A shocking new fan theory posited by every single Redditor last week claims that your favorite fictional characters are “all in Purgatory…
SAN FRANCISCO — Music aficionado and frontman for alternative metal band Faith No More, Mike Patton, admitted today that he just doesn’t understand why so…
SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips lyrics anywhere on his body,…
TAMPA, Fla. — Supporters of indie rock band Under Capricorn breathed a collective sigh of relief today when abuse allegations leveled against the band were…
Punk is a music genre but also an ethos. The core tenant of a punk life is never selling out. A close second is never…
LOS ANGELES — The International Committee for Problematic Favorites announced today that die-hard defenders of Morrissey have won the 2019 gold medal in mental gymnastics,…
TOKYO — In a press conference this morning tinged with disgust and shock, Sega’s Sonic Team told reporters that they were totally insulted that the…