I’m a good dad, OK? I think it’s important to get that out of the way first. Sure, I used to party when I was…
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Local man Mike Soder failed yesterday to share a reasonable conversation with his tattoo artist, running out of things to talk…
Everyone remembers Full House, the heartwarming family friendly ABC comedy about having a dead wife. But what you might not remember is how much work…
The holidays are a time for family togetherness and love, which is why I am filled with the unshakable grief that I must invite you…
BOSTON — Boston Symphony Orchestra patrons were dismayed last night when a “complete poser” in attendance clapped after the first movement of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony,…
LODI, N.J. — A highly anticipated Christmas album from punk legends The Misfits consists primarily of songs about Halloween, multiple confused listeners confirmed. The album,…
It looks like fans of brand synergy will have to wait quite a while for their dream film to see the light of day. An…
I remember like it was yesterday. My perfect nuclear family was invited to Nickelodeon Studios in Orlando, Florida to compete on “Double Dare.” That day…
TACOMA, Wash — A 9-volt battery was found dead inside a wah-wah pedal last night shortly after noise-rock band Necro Echo entered their rehearsal space,…
Today we all know Charles Schulz as the creator of the Peanuts comic strip, a man who single-handedly touched the hearts of generations of fans,…
Bees: They’re one of the most important components of our delicate ecosystem. Bees naturally pollinate the crops that human beings depend on for food, a…
WOODLAND, Calif. — Emerson Middle School teacher Erol Raybould inconspicuously cuffed his shirt sleeves this morning in hopes that his American History students would notice…
First things first: this is bullshit. Don’t come at me with your judgmental assumptions. There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing and I don’t wanna…
DENVER — Local man Chris Wyatt’s first bowel movement at his new office job was completed without incident, the relieved office worker confirmed this morning.…
FLINT, Mich. — Local pit bull James Earl Bones rescued a crust punk yesterday from a no-kill shelter despite the negative stereotypes of aggressive temperament…