WASHINGTON — President Trump showed off his physical prowess today in an attempt to dispel rumors about his failing health by climbing inside a coffin,…
SEATTLE — Researchers at the University of Washington announced breakthroughs in medical AI technology capable of detecting diseases with unaffordable treatments much earlier than comparable…
Sapiosexual is one of those words that has lost all meaning due to overuse. I think that’s because the concept of being sexually attracted to…
KENILWORTH, Ill. — Local metalhead Travis Garnette was dejected after failing to scare unsuspecting suburbanites while wandering around Lovelace Park earlier this week, unshaken witnesses…
SEATTLE — Amazon surprised its warehouse staff throughout the country today with the announcement of a mandatory 22-hour warehouse shift to commemorate Labor Day, exhausted…
LOS ANGELES — Showrunners for the hit show “Yellowstone” announced that they are planning a new spinoff series that will take place entirely within a…
So I knew this total jagoff Kevin Kergis, who everyone was absolutely certain peaked in high school. Unfortunately, he’s been having a real renaissance in…
DAYTON, Ohio — You settled for talking about Lamb of God with your coworker Nate Hollis after he heard you blasting Autopsy’s “Severed Survival” in…
Another summer is ending. Soon the leaves will change color and our outside plants will die. We’ll be reminded of our mortality, and mourn the…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Local restaurant the Green Garden began serving mocktails which are perfect for the person who doesn’t want to drink, but still wants…
Look, you’ve probably heard a lot about today’s job market and how difficult it is to “break in.” Some will tell you to get on…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — The success rate at escape room 7th Avenue Escapes increased to 100% after an Aerosmith playlist was added to its background music,…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local concert venue marquee-setter Kenan Vollick was overheard fretting about the possibility of the bands King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard and…
So Much for the Tolerant Left: This Liberal Got Mad After I Slept With His Wife and Shit on His Lawn
So Much for the Tolerant Left: This Liberal Got Mad After I Slept With His Wife and Shit on His Lawn
It’s a well-known fact that liberals refer to themselves as the “tolerant left” as evidenced by a meme I saw on Facebook. But if that…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Local anxiety-sufferer Eno Patrice upped his attempt at his daily mental health walk to a mental health sprint after being chased by…