VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Music journalist and human serviette Nardwuar surprised unknown Canadian musician Randall Hartford with a rare, unreleased recording of his funeral, stunned…
Pardon me madam, have you got a moment? I hope I haven’t interrupted anything. I’ve just been trying to work up the courage to approach…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local trans woman Emma Nelson was forced to cross the street last night to avoid an ambush from “well-wishing allies,” whose constant…
We’ve all experienced it- maybe while walking your dog through the park or looking through bargain bin records at the thrift store, or maybe you’re…
DENVER — Local couple Keith and Laurie Hudson updated their party plans this past weekend when a simple get-together among friends quickly escalated into a…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Punk bassist and lifelong ne’er-do-well Sergio Vasquez made a startling revelation earlier today, admitting he “truly doesn’t give a fuck” about J.D.…
They say dress for the job you want, not the job you have.. That may be true, but in the isolated compound you’ll be living…
Oh Jiminy Christmas, I goofed up. Fellas, this one is on me. Well, maybe it’s not really my fault. Kind of a miscommunique on your…
PHILADELPHIA — The biggest fan of local indie rock band Cash Only is reportedly Kevin Estrada, a close friend who doesn’t have an ounce of…
People are getting really into the whole new age thing lately. Everyone’s eating kale and talking to crystals. Naturally, I thought my idea to start…
BOSTON — Tufts University philosophy student Colin Hendricks was amused to learn yesterday that recovering addict and “fucking brainless sheep” Gretchen Matherson celebrated six months…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Aries. Nobody cares that Josh ate your leftover take out. It was moldy, and he puked…
Buyers remorse is a drag, especially when it comes to your religion. One day you’re just minding your own business, enjoying a healthy bowl of…
NEW YORK — Rapper and television personality Action “Mr. Wonderful” Bronson was brutally murdered on the streets of Queens last night during a long and…
I don’t understand how I got burned like this! I put everything I had into this cult so I could take everything my followers had…