GREENSBURG, Pa. — 93-year-old grandfather and pretentious grouch Stan Kiska yet again defended his stance today that Joe Besser was the funniest and most talented…
Dudes! Can you even fucking believe this? Seems like yesterday we were just scrawny freshman walking into Neil Armstrong High School looking up at the…
SAN ANTONIO — A friend informed you today during a visit to your hometown that she finally listened to Breaking Benjamin, a band you suggested…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local cop and amateur wrestler Casper “Cooter” Jones, who has struggled with a violent past, present and likely future, arrived at the…
CHICAGO — Riot Fest organizers announced today that this year’s festival will be headlined by all past iterations of Andrew W.K. performing together, as the…
Thanks for coming into my office today. Investing your time, energy, and emotions into a potential relationship partner is quite an undertaking. Effectively and efficiently…
MILWAUKEE — Local scene mainstay Ynez “Nezzy” Martin could not recall the band they had just seen play last week after receiving a head injury…
LONDON, England — The Central Criminal Court of England and Wales shocked reporters today in calling for the immediate release of Video, incarcerated since found…
NEW YORK — An alarming new study conducted by a research panel of angry baby boomers found that 82% of millennials can not locate Paradise…
This year marked the 25th anniversary of Kurt Cobain’s heartbreaking suicide. I can vividly recall everything about the moment the tragic news came over the…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local mumble rap connoisseur Demitri Anastas discovered yesterday that he was enjoying a live stream of a German news radio station…
PEARL CITY, Hawaii — 15-year-old hipster Delia Park has fully transformed from an early fan to a harsh critic of her recently-divorced parents, having listened…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Local bartender Marty Craig allowed himself to enjoy the Limp Bizkit classic “Rollin’” in its entirety last night without a tinge…
Congratulations! According to a recent Instagram update, Jamie and Kat are celebrating three blissful years together despite “going through so much” in that short time.…
HOUSTON — A holographic version of Mick Jagger waited patiently offstage yet again at a Rolling Stones concert last night, ready for the corporeal version…