Press "Enter" to skip to content

Concussed Punk Has Heard Band But Hasn’t Heard of Them

MILWAUKEE — Local scene mainstay Ynez “Nezzy” Martin could not recall the band they had just seen play last week after receiving a head injury in a mosh pit during the show, according to an extremely disoriented source.

“Nope, never heard of The Shred Scare,” said Martin. “But I was really confused when I saw their name on my wristband. I guess I was at their show? The last thing I remember is meeting with my friends to pregame… then I felt, like, really shitty the next day. But that’s pretty much how every night goes, so I assumed it was a good one.”

Friends and witnesses said Martin “took a header” straight into a support beam, bleeding from their skull. Still, Martin refused to go to the ER, claiming “that’s poser shit” and “there’s paper towels in the bathroom.”

“I mean, we’ve all seen someone get a concussion before,” said close friend Jamie Padilla. “Nezzy showed all the signs: slurred speech, unfocused eyes… and they completely forgot the entire existence of one of their favorite bands. I didn’t think anything could top that night they punched the bathroom mirror and spent the whole show bleeding in the circle pit, but here we are. There’s still glass inside their arm.”

Dee Sanborn, the club owner who also booked the show, said he urged Martin to leave for medical attention.

“Nezzy is really adamant about supporting the local scene,” Sanborn explained. “I offered to call an ambulance, but they kept refusing — and to be honest, I was kinda scared to move them. So, I mean… the biggest takeaway from all this is that I didn’t touch anyone, and I’m not liable, and neither is McGuirk’s Irish Pub.”

Martin’s friends have made plans to road trip out to The Shred Scare’s next show in Indianapolis, and weren’t worried about the possibility of a repeat occurrence.

“We made sure Nezzy didn’t fall asleep for the next couple nights, and they’re only a little spacey, so it’s pretty much back to normal now,” Padilla said. “I’m actually kind of jealous: I’d love to get to hear The Shred Scare for the first time again.”