DENVER — Local anomaly and known dirtbag David Gunther has perplexed a team of scientists with his disgust at the hypothetical prospect of a woman…
When it comes to the arena of corporate social media presence, savvy consumers know there’s only one contender for roast master. Wendy’s has a reputation…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local tattoo artist Jory Belden has created a book of preconceived conversation topics for clients refer to and choose from during their…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places they might otherwise not look…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
I am so sick of hearing people complain about this administration and their idealistic, unrealistic expectations of assassinating Donald Trump. Does anyone really believe that would solve anything? Change starts from the bottom up. You need to roll up your sleeves and put in the work every day to foster social change in YOUR community. Real change doesn’t happen at the presidential level. Drop the dreams and raise your cross-hairs on local politicians and city council members because real change starts at home.
Let me be the first to say, the Make-A-Wish Foundation is great. Ninety percent of the time they get it right, but after seeing a…
AUSTIN, Texas — A local Iron Maiden T-shirt came to the sudden realization yesterday, to its horror and disgust, that it was being sold at…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A new documentary chronicling the creation of the Creedence Clearwater Revival song “Fortunate Son” will feature a brief appearance from the obscure,…
ATLANTA — UberPOOL driver Christian Domingo was blindsided Thursday when he unwittingly became the driver for the last leg of Grime Squad’s east coast tour,…
He’s really here, isn’t he? Oh sweet mother of Christ, no! Only reason I came here was so I could complain about Morrissey not being…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Recent transplant and aspiring landlord Jenny Holmes is “surprisingly cool,” according to her first tenants, as she is allegedly willing to be…
Listen, I get it. The sun’s out, everything’s nice and warm, and your seasonal depression has evaporated into thin air. Why not swing by the…
COCKEYSVILLE, Md. — Computer scientists have successfully created a new algorithm for punks, elitists, and adherents to all things “alt” to keep up with all…
BALTIMORE — Barbecue attendee James Duffy was disappointed to learn this afternoon that vegan host Terry Russo provided meat options for his guests, forcing Duffy…