I Gotta eat and piss and shit like everyone, I need to sleep and breathe. I put my Chucks on one foot at a time,…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Tigerpanther frontman Nicky Pittman drastically misjudged his audiences’ level of familiarity last night with several of his songs, reportedly leaving attendees confused…
DOVER, N.H. — Avid heckler Roland Cobb was escorted out of a local park today for yelling at a group of small children talking amongst…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local punk Ivan Gomez gingerly set his “Meat Is Murder” T-shirt today into a new drawer set aside for band shirts he…
Sure, it happens to the best of us- You’re reading the internet’s funniest satire site, The Babylon Bee. You get to the bottom of a…
AUSTIN, Texas — Dean Hedlund, the chronically late lead singer of post-rock band Explosions in the Sky, arrived just in time last night to play…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local punk Tim Bell talked himself into an assault charge yesterday after aggressively confronting a police officer in attempting to talk his…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Gary Dwyer cannot wait to “pound a sixer” of Old Style in the parking lot before Riot Fest, get nauseous, throw…
If you think Detroit is bad you wouldn’t last a day in my world. I was born and will likely die in a place America…
PHOENIXVILLE, Pa. — Local punk Logan Sharp is leaving her hometown and bandmates for the “new gig” she just booked in Seattle, which in actuality…
AKRON, Ohio — Overprotective parent Carol Miller is reportedly having the “time of her life” after insisting on accompanying her son on a 10-day tour…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Guitar effects pedal manufacturer Strymon announced today the release of a new, $1000 reverb pedal called the BigNothing, which models its cavernous…
With concern over the side effects of psychiatric medication on the rise and the ability to afford said drugs on the decline, more and more…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A thriving, local punk scene has developed around high school freshman Rory Ferguson, a 15-year-old whom sources confirm has the best…
NYACK, N.Y. — Two desperate singles ignored glaring red flags on their Tinder date early this week after discovering that they share the same favorite…